Why?

Why can't I do it? What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I put myself thru the BS day in and day out. Listening to him tell me right now he doesn't want to date me, but I feel like he just wants to control me.

He values me as a person so he still wants me to be his friend. He won't make time for me though outside of the internet world.

Why can't I just let go? Maybe I believe that it's not really over and that he's just fooling himself. But, I think it's time to realize it. I need to do this..maybe picking up my stuff from him tonite will make me realize it.

Then I'll go away. Out of his life. Out of his control, to be free to be me. And not someones pawn.