It's ((Almost)) My Birthday and I'll Cry If I Want To.

I honestly wouldn't mind winning the lottery right about now. I'd pay off my bills that I'm "in debt" with, pay off Charlie and buy a house or apartment or condo or whatever in Florida ((probably Deerfield Beach or Key West)) and start life a new.

On Monday is my 23rd birthday. I'm excited but more so on the sad side. I wanted to do something, anything for it this weekend..but of course, there's no one to share in that. PA Lova left around 11am today for PA, Lil Cuz is studying all weekend, J.Wilt is having a party and doing his own thing with his friends.

Kerri called me last night cryyying like no other because Chris broke up with her but of course, she's happily back with him. And obvii doesn't need or want to hang out with me. On top of that, the ex ripped me a new one today and made me feel guilty yet again for not wanting to be with him. ((Listen, he's an amazing guy but I just DO NOT have the same feelings for him))

Wednesday is tentatively scheduled for Swan and I's birthday celebration at Pig Out BBQ but even I'm not looking forward to that because he invited J.Dubs and Lou. Who will probably end up turning it to "their" own thing, similar to what they did last year. I remember I wanted to eat at a certain restaurant but no, it wasn't good enough with them, so we ended going to Texas Roadhouse, which wasn't a bad choice, just not mine ((really.)) We waited 2 hrs to be seated and pretty much the whole time I got biitched at for it by J.Dubs because I had forgotten to call ahead and remind the good staff there that we were coming.

My birthday has never really been good, not because my friends are completely shitty ((ok mostly they were, too many fake all about me types up here)) but because it just didn't work out ever.

I remember it was my 9th birthday..I was at Chuck E. Cheese, and my mom was passing out tokens to everyone else and I got mine last. We joke about it now, but at the time, I cried.

I sometimes I wish that I could exaggerate about how often I get screwed over by people, no matter how much I take time out of my life for them. I just wish people would careee more..of course that isn't the case, so I'm just bascially gonna suck it up and deal with it.

I wish I could tell you, it doesn't hurt that Swan got in the car last night and was soo super excited, because he had just received a text from J.Dubs about having everyone get together and cruise down for Dubs on the Beach in Ocean City, MD at the end of this upcoming month. That it doesn't hurt that absolutely all my friends ((ok except J.Wilt)) will be down there having fun in the sun, because for some reason J.Dubs has it out for me and did not invite me.

I wish that I could tell you that it doesn't hurt that I try so hard to make people happy. That I try to be the best friend a person could ask for, but yet still get shit on. I wish I could tell you that it doesn't hurt that I'll probably never be with Coco, that he's probably only using me for sex, and that I should probably get that notion out of my head at the moment.

And I wish I could tell you that I'm gonna have the best pre-birthday weekend ever, but I know I won't...because Nice Girls/Guys, whatever always finish last.


So, tonight I'm going to Coco's. And I'm kinda excited. [[lol]] First, we were gonna go out for drinks, Coco didn't wanna, so I said, "well I can get some and come over."

He considered it..then pretty much weighed it out. Waittt...WAIT!..did Coco really just pass up alcohol? OMG he did. He passed up the opportunity for me to buy him it too. He said, "I want to keep it low-key." Well, I certainly was not suggesting a party. But, I'm taking this as good sign.

He's been very odd to say the least. Has been really stepping up to the plate. Like with my whole birthday party thing, saying he was def. going to come. And last night, when he said he wanted to stay home tonight..I was like, "So you don't wanna chill?" And the response I got back was, "I do, I do." And him coming to the get together on Tuesday?!!

Is Coco finally maturing? Maybe he'll make it official tonight? If he doesn't though, I'm just gonna hush..just enjoy the time I have with him..and let whatever happens happen. =)

I still enjoy being single..plus with my reaction the other night to "just being friends" I feel like I'm not ready. Gonna take it slowww and do it right this time.


Good Morning everyone!!! So, it's been a pretty rough week so far. I know, sometimes I'm sure you just wanna smack me for the amount of complaining I do, but seriously, FML!

My friends are starting to make me feel more && more shitty. Not J.Wilt or the ex..just the one's in a relationship. Monday was Kerri's boyfriends birthday and currently he doesn't have a car because it's broken. And Kerri doesn't even have a driver's license. So, she of course texted me..saying she was sooo bored, and how her bf's parents wouldn't even take him out to dinner..bascially trying to get me to say that I'd pick him up for her. So, I just told her I had plans..((which was true)) but ya know thanks for making me feel shitty!

Then, I'm supposed to go to PA this weekend. Well, I thought about it, and I was like okay, I'll go. Well, last night Pa Lova texted me and told me she was leaving tomorrow for PA and I was like that's cool, no biggie. She's spending Friday with her mom and honestly I was considering backing out anyways. Well, last night at the get together she told me I should take Friday off, so that I could come with her. I polietely declined citing the fact that I would no longer be working Wednesdays. But, bascially she just wanted me to come so that she wouldn't have to drive alone! Like thanks, bring with you, so you can spend all of Friday with your mom and all of Saturday with your friends...it's not like I'd have a car either!

And on top of it, I was feeling uber shitty because I was sitting next to J.Dubs last night, PA Lova was on her other side and J.Dubs always only turned to PA Lova to talk..and when PA Lova was ready to leave she turned to me and I must've had my FML look on, and she was like, "What's wrong?" I just shrugged and said goodbye. Now, I don't know about you guys, but everytime you're friend looks upset wouldn't you ask what's wrong if they didn't wanna talk about it afterwards? I know you all would!!!!! But instead I got nothing till 1115 when she had to tell me that this girl that she doesn't like showed up at the gym after her and J.Dubs left.

I'm just soo tiredd of being treated like crap by my friends who are in relationships!! PA Lova is becoming the biggest user I've ever met and I'm really about to cut ties with her. Her and Lil B only invited me to come with to N.E. Dustoff for the weekend so that she wasn't left alone!!! And whenever she's mad or upset I'm always there for her because of the simple fact, that when I was 16, I did the same thing to my friends, and they told me that I'd be friendless if I continued that, so from then on, I made sure at all times that I made time for them..legit we can talk about whatever time.

But now all I do is get shit on and used. And it hurts so bad, I almost started crying this morning. Swan and I are having a birthday party celebration on Wednesday and he wanted to change it to this weekend sometime and I told him we couldn't because I wanted PA Lova there. But, now I really don't give a rats ass. I need to find friends who will respect me and not use me to vent about how stupid their bf is being, or about how they need this or that, but can't even give me the time of day when I need it.

Ok, ok..I digress. I have happier news...

Mr. Coco showed up to the get together last night!!! When I was dropping the ex and his pup off ((we brought his doggie to the dog park!)), I receieved a text from Coco, asking where the gtg was. And when I was on my way, PA Lova texted and said, "you're boy Coco is here!" I beamed like no other.

Got there and just had a normal convo, I was gauging how he was going to be..because ya know of what the ex said yesterday. He was uber chill though, we talked about how he hates his boss and other such interesting stuff. We talked about our plans for tomorrow, he said he needed to keep it low-key because he had a dyno run to do around 4, so he probably wouldn't be home till 8..((he works at ECS Performance, they 'pimp' out your ride bascially)). So, we might grab a drink or watch a movie or something. =) I really think things are looking up with him. =)

Plus, I just asked him if he'd come out for me and Swan's birthday..and he said he'd def. be there. =) ((hopefully for me and not the bbq place we're going too..lol))

So, I'm half happy, half sad..but still ALL ME!


So, I've figured out the real reason why Dean.O and I aren't going to work, ever. He has a new girlfriend or whatever...I don't really know. But, bascially the chick that he's interested in or with or what have you, is always number 4 on his top friends on myspace. I'm now number 6.

Shanna ((whos Tits friend, who we went to the bowling alley bar with when I was down there last)) is his "new interest." I guess I shouldn't be upset..but I wish he had been real with me and could just tell me.

And now I def. do not want to go to PA, because Tits is best friends with Shanna and PA Lova keeps telling me that Tits is gonna be around on Saturday. Like, I'm really starting to have a bit of a hard time trusting her. I know that sounds horrible..but I don't know, I'm in one of my funky moods, I just want to meet someone and be happy and I'm tired of running in circles for these guys and feeling like crap after.

The ex pointed out something about Coco and I, and I agreed. Hmm, all of a sudden Coco wants to hang out whenever..soo maybe, idk. He does seem like he's growing up though, oh I have no idea. I just want to be happy. I'm starting to feel like everything is falling apart.

It Finally Happened...

Well, first I must tell you all that I have uber time to post because work is sooo frickin dead, plus on top of it, the internet has been pretty weird, soo this is honestly the only site that works like it should. [[yay!]]

Anyway, before I get into the Dean.O and I story..my hours finally got cut. Just about 10 mins ago, my boss called me into her office and told me, "you know we've been really slow" and I started getting uber nervous, and then she was like, "well we have to cut a day." ::Insert sigh of relief:: I seriously thought my boss was going to cry..she was so upset that she had to do that, she knows I have a car payment but honestly, with this economy, I'm even happy I still have a full-time job. Most of my friends don't even have jobs right now.

So on Wednesdays I will enjoy sleeping in, being lazy and spending time with my bestie PA Lova, hopefully helping her find a job. So officially next Wednesday I will be off, and every Wednesday till we pick up.
Anyway, so, I was texting Dean.O over the weekend. He needs a job hardxcore too. So I guess his friend knows someone who needs help putting swimming pools in. He told me he may not be around alot this weekend. I was like no biggie..at least I'll get to see you. Now it's turned into he had to go to Jersey so he won't be around at all. =( Which obvii isn't under his control. But, it does suck. So I've pretty much given up on it. I know maybe I shouldn't, but it's just not our time. ((in my opinion)) Plus, I'm rethinking the whole I just wanna be friends with Coco thing. We are supposed to go out for a drink and to chill on Thursday, so I'm slightly excited. I also am uber surprised by him..because he def said the following yesterday:

Me:"So when can I see you again?"
Coco:"Whenever you want."

Open mouth expression for sure. That's seriously a monumentous thing for him to say..because usually it's like, I'm usually mad tired after work, or I'm poor or whatever. But Coco bascially asked me out for a drink..and said even though his cashflow is limited, he still wants to take me out. He also said he wanted to def. see me last night, but it was a looong hott weekend for everyone, so he needs a couple days to chill out.

I'm slowly letting my guard down..and I'm just gonna see what happens with Coco. He seems to be a lot more open to the idea of him and I. I've been pretty quiet about the whole liking him thing, just letting him lead the way. But, eventually if nothing comes out of it, I will say something, because I'm not hanging on like I did last time. I think moving into a house and realizing he doesn't have a whole lot of money to go out and be "stupid" made him realize, hey! maybe it's time to settle down in a relationship too. So, we will see what goes on. He's let me chill with a bunch of his friends..and his roomies def. know who I am..and seem chill with me sooo.

Keeping my fingers crossed. It's Coco or no one at the moment.



I've been tagged by my West Coast mommy Bon Don over @ Who Throws a Cupcake? Honestly to do a meme about my top 10 favorite film characters. I also have to tell you why they're coool. But, I'll probably just tell you all of em are hott [[women included..]]

So, let's see how many I can come up with since honestly, I haven't watched a whole lot of movies in my life! [[I know, its bad.]]

Lucas Black as Sean Boswell in Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift
He has an amazing southern accent and that dirty boy look. Plus, he drifts like a pro, beats the drift king and of course, he gets the girl.

Nick Swardson as Jeff in Grandma's Boy
He has a race car bed and still wears footy pajamas. He plays video games, and sleeps with "Alex's" grandma's friend in the movie. He says things like "That chick's pussy smells like the great depression" or "Cool! I hope it's a naked dude with a boner!" Yup, he's legendary.

Denzel Washington as Frank Lucas in American Gangster
He starrs in the "based on true story" drama about one of the most impressive heroin labs to date in the U.S. He plays the "heroin kingpin" who seems to be able to avoid the police at all costs. He is also affliated with the New York Mafia, and soon he rises to the top..as the most hated and loved.

Megan Fox as Mikaela Barnes in Transformers
For one, she's totally and insanely hott. She plays along side of Shia Lebeouf in this movie about robots that can transform into cars and must save the world from the evil Decepticons.

Jon Heder as Napoleon Dynamite in Napoleon Dynamite
He's wicked coool..enjoys drawing ligress' and has sweet numbchuck skills. Chyeaaa. "Tina, you fat lard!"

Ron Howard as Steve Bolander in American Graffitti
I love Ron Howard, and I love him in this movie as the best friend of Curt, who's deciding if he really wants to move away and go to college or stay and cruise the strip.

Colin Farrell as James "Sonny" Crockett in Miami Vice (2006)
Besides Colin Farrell being pretty uber cute in general..he def. is dmn sexxxi in this movie. He's uber cool because he looks B.A. in stunna shades. Holla!

Ryan Gosling as Noah Calhoun in the Notebook
I don't even need to say anything..everything about the way he loved Allie (Rachel McAdams) was beautiful. Plus, he's hawtttt.

Nikki Reed as Evie Zamora in Thirteen (on the right)
She plays the popular girl who turns a shy, unexpecting thirteen yr old into a "bad girl." Something about her just gives off a "Cool Factor."

Justin Timberlake as Frankie in Alpha Dog
Justin really proves his acting abilites in this movie..and shows he has a heart, as he allows the kidnapped kid to go.

Now to pick five lovely laddiesss =)

Sheri's World

Wife of a Wounded Marine

The Shared Joruney

..Call Me Captain Backfire

Enjoyyyy. =)

Weekend Recap, Sunburn Style.

So this weekend was a looong one, but it had it's funny moments. I currently am rocking a lobster style sunburn on my back..and I'm pretty sure Dean.O and I will never work. =( Onward, to the weekend recap!

-got out of work at 5, picked up Kerri && her dorm mate Christine
-headed down to the Best Buy in Orange for the CTEurospec gtg.
-def. without a doubt, got ignored by the boys [[thatskinnykid && boudah werent there]]
-20 mins later I bounced
-ended up hitting up the pike, and getting some Mickey D's
-then drove around, looking at all the sweet cars with some goodlooking men in it.
-left, and went to pick up Kerri's boyfrrriend at work
-dropped em all off at the college
-was on my way home ((because i needed to wake up earlyish)) and then coco txted me and asked me to come over
-went over his house..((some hooking up may have occured, and nope, no sex to be had))
-finally got home around 230 and passed out.

-woke up around 10
-PA Lova txted me asking me if I still wanted to go with them
-I politely declined.
-Lil B called me and somehow persuaded me to come.
-got my stuff together, met at their house at noon and off we went.
-finally made it into Rhode Island and to Lou's house around 200.
-all packed into his car so we could roll to Wendy's for his ma.
-got back, packed into PA Lova's car [[Charlie stayed at Lil B's for the weekend]]
-went all the way to South Providence [[the ghetto, lmao]] to go to Yarrowsport
-chilled there for about an hr, then went back to Lous and all packed back into his car
-took a drive out to Volkswagen/Audi heaven.
-about 2 miles of brand new VW/Audis still in there plastic wrap..[[wowowowowowo]]
-then it was off to Jamestown to explore an abandoned Navy base
-finally got there, and it was soo freaking cool!
-went in and out of dark rooms and cellars, climbed on stuff, and finally made it down to the beach.
-looked out across the ocean..and saw Newport!!!
-some huge frickin houses out there!
-walked back and went back to Warwick ((where Lou lives))
-went to this cool restaurant called Chelo's
-got some bangin ass Philly Cheese Wrap and SWEET POTATOE FRIES!
-then it was time to get Roger and head up to Seekonk MA ((where the show was))
-got up there and went Go-Karttting!
-then hit up the indoor arcade..won some tickets and got a rubber ducky.
-then it was off to the hotel, PA Lova, Lil B and I were first to get there.
-1/2 an hr later Dustin && Shelly came
-we all stayed up til about midnight, talking
-then it was off to bed because everyone but me && PA Lova had to be up at 6am to go run the show.

-ended up waking up at 6am because everyone was getting ready
-PA Lova and I ended up laying around watching cartoons till about 730
-I hopped in the shower
-got dressed and was ready
-put my sunscreen on...and then PA Lova decided at the last minute to change shirts with me
-left the hotel..and then it was off to the show
-got some dunkin donuts
-then got to the show around 9am.
-it was already 75 degrees
-walked around a little bit..and then went and sat in the car
-pretty much the whole day we did that
-around 200 we went to get some Mickey D's
-Pa Lova says, " omg"
-We walk into the bathroom, guess who forgot to put suntan lotion on her back!
-yup me...
-so im sitting there, with a burnt back and a tan front
-fianlly end up leaving around 445
-got home around 7
-i jumped into the shower..sooo nice
-then was lazy..and laid in bed for a while.
-finally got up and left around 9
-got Kerri..and off we went cruisin for a bit
-then got J.Wilttt
-dropped Kerri off, went cruisin with J.Wilt
-dropped him off round midnite && bounced to Coco's because he wanted me too come over
-finally got there, went inside, talkeedd and bit..anddd yyaaa knowww
-def. was awkward..im a)not usually one for "one night stands" and b)really think he's become too good of a friend ((sadly))
-we conversated for a bit after that..i bascially told him we make better friends..that i liked him..but I don't see myself being with anyone at the moment ((did i really say that!?))
-then home && to bed.

That was pretty much my adventorous weekend..was a ton of fun..but I'm so tirrred right now. =(

Next up: Why Dean.O and I will never work.


Part 3.

[[Part 3]]

Dean.O and Jon ended up coming up about a week and a half ago. The second time I went to PA, it was 1 in the morning and I was riding back with the boiis from the bar, when Dean.O blurted out: "If I move back to CT, will you marry me?" I stared at him blankly from the backseat of his car..and uttered, "Are you serious?" A "yeah of course I am," came from the front of the car.

I laughed..thinking about it. Hmm, well I'd be set and probably happy. But, he's with Sondra, I could never do that to her. Even though, she wasn't even interested in him anymore..because she missed her baby daddy.

Dean.O was up here for about 4 days. In those 4 days, he asked me to marry him every single day. One day he asked 3x. Awkkkward. I knew he was just playing..but a part of me knew he wasn't.

Cut to Wednesday, we're crusing, showing Jon the "pike." Jon was in Dean.Os car with Swan, I was in my car with Dean.O. We held hands, we talked. It all came naturally. It was neither forced or shunned upon.

Tits ended up coming up that night, to get Jon because he had court in the morning. They left around 1230, and I said my goodnites to Swan && Dean.O. The next day, Dean.O had to leave. Swan decided to go and stay with his ex gf ((dont get me started!!)) and Dean.O was not about to stay at Swans alone. We said our goodbyes that night with huge hugs, and tons of I'll miss yous.

We've been texting on a daily basis. Nothing fantastic, just alot of "I miss yous" and such. Phone calls are kept to the late night hours, 10 mins, to talk bout our days. We fought yesterday sorta, because Dean.O is wicked confused on what he wants. I can tell part of him wants to move up here, but unfortunately to him, this is not home any longer.

It makes for a hard time for me, because he just won't come right out and say what he trully means or thinks. His convos change nightly from wanting to move up here, to wanting to move out of his house and into an apartment down there. I cannot move to PA though, as much as I love my friends there, and Dean.O, I just don't see myself ever really being able to adjust to the quietness...the darkend streets.

I prefer my city, the one I've been calling home since I was 9. I love the car shows, the people, my friends. Plus, I made a promise to PA Lova that I would never ever leave her. And she promised that if she ever moved back down, I'd come with her. But, that prolly will never happen.

I don't know what's gonna go on [[like calixta.jive, whos freakin awesome!]] but right now I'm keeping my options open, and wondering. If he comes up here tomorrow and doesn't have somewhat of def. plans, I honestly don't think I'll wanna be with him. It's too much pressure to want to commit to someone I might see once a month.

Who knows, I guess that's why they say life is crazy. If you stop and think about it, it's amazing how some people have come in and out of your life. There's a reasoning for everything. You just have to find it.

This is totally like my millionth post today. [[jk]] But, it feels like it. I have no clue what the hell is going on this weekend!

I'm more confused than a kid in a candy store, wondering if he wants chocolate covered peanuts or chocolate M&Ms. [[personally, i'd go for the M&Ms]]

There's a show on Sunday. It's about 2 hrs away in Massachusetts. Now, Mass. isn't THAT far away, but we have to go thru Rhode Island to get there because it's obvii on the eastern part of the state.

Well, the thing is..JDubs && Lou are going to Rhode Island tomorrrow to visit Lou's fam [[hes originally from there obvii]], PA Lova && Lil B are going out there to chill with them and then up to Mass. to stay with Dustin && his girlfriend. And Swan && his ex got a hotel together too, so I'm like mmmm ok...now what to do?

The dilemma is: Swan doesn't know if he's gonna stay with Amanda [[probably]], Dean.O might come up tomorrow after his car show [[where shall he stay??]] and me well I dunno. I'm like floating around.

My awesome besties Lil B && Pa Lova, asked me to stay with if I wanted..but they're gonna be rooming with Dustin && his gf, and I'm not sure how down I am for being the 5th wheel. I def. thank them for that, but I doubt I'm going to. I'm fine staying home honestly, but apparently they aren't fine with that. [[geeezzz]]

Cause I've been telling PA Lova all week I didn't know if I was going because I don't know of J.Wilts gonna go, or Kerri will. Chances are, they probably both won't. Which is cool, cause I really need to bring my car in for servicing and I keep forgetting.

[[I also need a really good lie, why my car is 3000 over..oopsie.]]

Well, everyone have a great weekend! Enjoy the sunshine && warm temps if you're lucky enough to get it. I know it's gonna be about 90 all weekend, and this time I'm packing the sunscreen.

By the way. I have a plan to marry Asher Roth...seriously. He's super cute and dorky. He makes me swoon like no other. Pick up his album " Asleep in the Bread Aisle" in stores now. [[i seriously just plugged him...crazy]].

But, he damn fine. And I'm totally hatching a plan to have his babies, since the 3oh!3 concert is sold out for this upcoming thursday. So, no hoe love or depressing track 10 about getting drunk.

Part 2.

[[Part 2]]

Most of my weekends were spent with the boiis cruising around in there veedubs. [[see where I get it from!]]. Then one day, Dean.o came to all of us and told us he was moving. His parents could no longer afford their home.

A month later he was packed and ready to hit the road for PA. His parents had let him choose where he wanted to live and after clearful consideration with the use of the interweb, he chose Pennsylvania for their awesome volkswagen lifestyle. We all said goodbye and off he went.

For the first 6 months, he came back on a regular basis. By then, I was no longer friends with the "so-called bestie." I rarely saw Lil B && Tone because I had started a relationship with the ex. Eventually, Tone moved to Florida for "drug problems" with ex girlfriend. Lil B grew distant and started hanging out with Swan.

I finally [[after 4 yrs]] made it down to Pennsylvania in Feb. of 08. I never did return again last year as promised. I continued my somewhat rocky relationship with the ex till the end of Sept of 08, when I ended it and started going out with BP.

In Aug of 08, after almost a year of not coming to visit, Dean.O finally reappeared with PA Lova [[who at the time liked Dean.O and vice versa.]] PA Lova was introduced to Lil B, and from there their relationship grew and grew. I had the pleasure of meeting her at a car show a month after she initially first came up..and we hit it off. We are now best friends.

In March of 09, I finally made a trip down to PA again, where I was able to reunite with Tits. I also met Dean.Os new besties Nick && Jon.

Again, this month, I went down to PA. I started getting used to all of Dean.Os new friends, and before long, we all became the "group." PA Lova, Lil B, Dean.O, Swan, Jon, && Tits.....

[[Part 3 up next!]]


I just enabled my comments. It was really effin easy too! I just had to post a code..and then follow some super simple instructions and ta-da! Pop-up window comments loviieess. Hope you like the new design. =)

Part 2 coming soon. =)

Meet Dean.O and Other Such Awesome People. [[Part 1]]

[[Part 1]]

So, I decided to follow in calixta.jive aka ...call me captain backfire footsteps and back up a bit and tell you about Dean.o. So, sit back and relax, it's story time. [[sorry its so long. i split into 3 parts for ya.]]

When I was 16 yrs old, I had my first real boyfriend. HG or Honda Guy was a charmer with his love for anything that had a motor and ran. [[mostly imports]] I'm pretty sure that's when I seriously became interested in cars. His best friends at the time were FW && Lil B [[who I still chill with on a regular basis]]. Lil B [[yes the same one whos one of my besties now]] was at the time, a trouble maker [[not horribly]] and I hated him with everything I had inside of me. Eventually, HG && I broke up, and I thought that was the last I'd see of FW && Lil B...

About a year later, I took a job at a bowling alley where I met the girl who would become my best friend for 2 yrs and bascially "ruin my life." In a weird turn of events [[cause everything up here is like that]] she lived across the street from FW. We would occasionally stop over and talk to FW, Lil B, and Tone. [[I still hated Lil B, don't get me wrong.]]

Eventually I got over my hatred for Lil B, when one night he saved my ass. [[ill save the story for another time.]] From then on, me and my "so-called bestie" would spend our weekends cruising around with Lil B && Tone who grew to be best friends.

That's when I met Dean.O. I wish I could tell you what time of the year, what time of the day or even how I met him..but those facts have slipped my mind. [[his too!]] For two years, it was usually the five of us. The boys were insepartable and I was with the "so-called bestie."........


Cause My Head is Always Making Me CRAZY.

I just got uber sad, then uber happy. I don't know if anyone caught the post I just deleted. But it basically said, that I thought Dean.o didn't wanna be with me. And apparently he does. Well actually I do know...because he just sent me a text saying,

"I want to be with you like no other, its just hard right now."

It is. We live 4 hrs apart from each other for goodness sake. So, I think for right now...me && him shouldn't have a title or really say we're together. Cause he's broke, my rents would totally not be down with me being away that often, and dean.o can't even sleep over my house.

So, we're just gonna play it by air for now. PA Lovas uber mad that we just won't try the long distance thing..but on both our parts, it just wouldn't work. And I know for a matter of a fact that Dean.o is trying his hardest to move up here so we can be together. =)

Is this day over yet?! I'm ready to go shopping. Woot Woot.

It's Time to Decide.

Yesterday evening, I was talking to Dean.o via text message as I do everyday. He told me he loved me. Well, it was more like, I love ya and care for ya alot even though we are 4 hrs apart. Of course I said it back, him being my best friend of 6 yrs and all.

After that though, there was no other mention of it. I went to the gtg as I do every Wednesday, PA Lova finally came out and I had my friend from CTEurospec ((havent seen him in forever)) take my car for a spin to find out why my front left makes a clanging noise when I hit bumps. Of course, Charlie didn't make any noise. ((what a brat!))

I finally got home..and texted Dean.o..he was at the bar, guess it was loud, so I just kinda drifted into a very light sleep..till I hear: "That party last night was awfully crazy I wish we taped it. I danced my ass off and had this one girl completely naked...."

"Oh, wow, " I thought to myself. "Why's that song on?" Wait..that's my phone!

So, of course I picked up, it was Dean.o. We talked for a bit, but he kinda was rushy to get me off the phone. Hmmm. [[I'll get to that in a minute]]. The jist of our convo was mostly about how if he makes enough money at the swap meet at the show he's going to on Saturday, he's going to come up and stay till next Friday..and just follow PA Lova && I back. Which would be effin sick..except for..

Tits' good friend. Tits wanted to hook her good friend up with Dean.o since the last time I came down..and they all went to the bar last night. Which obvii I don't care, but he was rather quick to want to go to bed. And I'm sorry but everyone in that town has had sex with everyone. It's kinda ridic. And I'm not down with him having a booty call till I'm around..I don't play those kinda games. So, who knows, I could just be paranoid. Or maybe not. Guess it really doesn't matter.

Dum de dum..waiting for the damn page to load so I can hopefully snag those two pics of Charlie from the show on Sunday. =) This guy was sitting across from Charlie, and took a pic..and then took another pic..and in the second one JDubs && I were bending over her car looking at tiny wormy like orange buggies. Thanks dude!

[[hope you didn't wanna pic of my ass. I know it's nice but you coulda just asked to touch my heiny. haha. ::rubs bum::]]

Ah ha, finally got to the thread, now if I could just get to the damn pics. Which may never happen because the interweb is still hating and moving like a snail.

I'm posting this for nowwww. So, pics in the next post hopefully. =)



I still have no idea how to make the link for comments visiable or I should say, even make comments appear. So, if you don't mind for now, I guess leave all comments in that cute lil "Your LaLaLaLove box" down below. Cause I dunno what to do, and I heart my new layout.

SO, if anyone knows how to, please let me know. Either leave a comment in that cute lil box or email me at bunnni.chick@gmail.com.

Thanks loviiesss. <333


As you can see, my blog is Under Construction right now!!! Hopefully I'll be done by the time I leave work today..stay tuneeed. =)

*ps-i know the comments are disabled. im trying to figure it out.*

Welcome to the World.

What up, what up? For some reason I'm super hyper. And I still have nothing really that impressive to talk about. Hmmm.

Well, the bestie and I are no longer friends. I'm somewhat amused by what she said. It made me LOL numerous times. She was going to actually hang out with me last night, but then bailed as usual. So, I was like ok, friendships over. Cannot take it anymore. And the reply I got back was pure, you know you need me and want in your life. She said and I quote:

"If you walk away from this friendship, you won't ever get me back."

Excuse moi? [[oops I LOLed again]]. I seriously was not trying to be a biitch, but she was giving me a thousand and one reasons why it was stupid I was ending our friendship. Yes, she was sick and didn't come to Dubs on Deforst 2, understandable. I was in PA the following weekend. Then this past weekend she has Mission of Merci, totally all legit excuses.

But telling me you were gonna hang on Monday with me, and ditching me yet again for Adrian..and yesterday ditching me because she claims one of her beauty marks was getting blacker and hurt, so all she wanted to do was be alone sent me to my first last point.

I thought about all the other times she ditched me. Florida this year to move with Adrian [[at the time she was only dating him for 2 wks and decided he was soo much better]], PA last year, numerous car shows, and just random chill nights. Always having to go home by a certain time so she could either IM the boy she liked, or call him.

She called me an asshole, I said yup guess I am..had to repeat myself numerous times about her ditching me all the other times. Finally telling her that she will always want it her way and will only call on people when she needs someone. She did it to J.Wilt, to Jess too. She has no one now but Adrian. And how convenient that we get into that fight yesterday and she leaves a comment on J.Wilt's myspace..

Then she goes and deletes me and makes her profile private and her status was "somewhat amused." Grow up! Dude, I don't even care. I know that's harsh but I put so much effort into our friendship..and all I got back was shitt. She wanted to move to Germany and live with some guy she didn't know..being a good friend, I just wanted her to be safe and let her know. She comes back and flips on me. She went to Canada to stay with a 35 yr old man whom she never met in person, concerned friend again I tried to be, she flipped on me yet again. Told me I was a crappy friend, told me I never could just be happy with what she did. [[ummm hi, you're whack!]] Then went and flipped it and blamed it on me.

She needs to get her head outta the clouds and stop thinking she is the shit. I needed her after BP broke up with me..and she had told Jess that I was being uber annoying, I called her out on it yesterday and she said, "it seemed you wanted me all to yourself, all the time." Again, wow you're cocky ain't you.

So, I'm done. I have amazing friends..and I couldn't ask for anything better. Ok, I'll shush now. [[lol.]] Sorry for ranting, but I needed to write it all down. Thanks for reading, if you did! If not, its cool. I'll just find you and steal your baloney.


Blame it on the Vodka.

So, Dean.o never came yesterday. Him, Jon && Tits were gonna, but they had no where to stay. =( Plus, it was torrientially downpouring all day. I ended up going out for ice cream with PA Lova and Lil B. Then drove around with J.Wilt.

Who, finally came out of the closet. He's not gay, he's bi, but still I was super excited that he confided in me! =) I still love him the same. He's one of my best guy friends. He's been flirting with this kid from work, but he's not sure if he's gay or if the kids just being an uber dick. He wants to marry a woman..and have a family but he wants to date a guy too, which I think is badass. People are who THEY wanna be. I would never judge someone because of the lifestyle they choose. You are who you are.

Today is another gloomy day. My ear is bothering the crap outta me. The whole right side of me actually. My ear, my gland, and my throat. Not cool. [[lol]]

I wish I had something to talk about, but I really don't. Blah. I'll think of something! Promise.


I'm Certainly Glad I Wasn't "That Guy" or "Those Guys" or...

This is a "poster" someone made from the show I attended yesterday. See that car in the background; it's a Jetta. That's riced out. We all had a good laugh. I know it's mean, but it's just something you don't do to a volkswagen.

That dude humping the gnome with the vw symbol; completely normal. Hilarious too. The classic covering the face shot is hawt. Fo sure. That's how we roll.

I wish someone had a pic of the drunk kid on that poster instead. He was wearing a red trucker hat..he was hammered, smashed, def. peed in front of everyone who was at the show while awards were being done. He just kinda stumbled to a tree and starting peeing. Which, again, completely normal. This is CT I'm talking about here.

I also def. just texted Dean.o and asked him what he was doing. He said he was in Lowes because he's bored. I'm all like cool..wish you were here! No response! Could he be here? Tits might have given it away in her status last night...plus Dean.o teased me with the whole well me && Tits were gonna come up today thing. I told him I don't like surprises...but something tells me tomorrow I mite be blogging about "this surprise." Who the hell knows though!?

Totally rocking out to Asher Roth's "Lark on my Go-Kart." Shits legit. He just honestly said he was the king of blumpkins. I'm totally not gonna say what that is, it's just too fucken weird. How would that be a turn on, is all I have to say??

As you can see, I'm disgressing more than, more than..oh fuck I don't know! More than a midget on speed!?! I had coffee today. Haven't had it in foreverrrrrr. Honestly. So, i'm wide awake, get pissed at the interweb because it's slow as shit today..but thankfully this site has been working like normal. =)

I'm totally verbally diarrheaing over here. I don't have anything to really talk about. Except Asher Roth. He's fineeee btw. Google him laddiieess. He sings about loving college. [[lol]] Actually, his music really isnt appropriate. He is though! For moi.

Alrite I'm out before you guys think I'm effin crazyyy.

I Was Tagged!!!

I was tagged by The Invention of My Life..apparently I have to take a pic of myself at this very moment. So, here I go! [[I apogolize ahead of time, I'm taking it with my cell && well it's old..]]

Ok, now to tag some lovely ladddies. =)
Confessions of a Twenty-Something Yr Old
Who Throws A Cupcake? Honestly.

Pce out girlscouts! [[lol]]

Dubs, Dubs, Dubs. [[Listen to Your Heart.]]

Helloo lovely bloggers. How was everyone's weekend? It felt like it was a super long one for me but it was funn. So onward to the weekend recap!

-went out with PA Lova after work
-we went and got our eyebrows did. [[gotta stay on my grind. lmao]]
-then we hit up kohl's because she wanted a lovely frame for her mommy to keep at home.
-then we got some taco bell.
-of course went to wally world.
-then i dropped her back off at home, and went and chilled with the ex.
-we drove around, went back to his house and watched a movie and some television.
-then home and to bed.

-got up around 1030.
-watched "Chasing Liberty" for a bit
-got ready then went out with Kerri.
-we cruised to the beacchhh. soo nice.
-it was 80!!! [[loveeeeddd it x10000]]
-walked along the beach looking for seashells and what not.
-then came back to bristol, drove around.
-met up with PA Lova, got some foodage and alchi.
-headed to JDubs house.
-chilled out with everyone.
-had some good laughs as usual.
-somehow ended up falling over. [[i only had one smirnoff!]]
-i went to attempt to sit down with one leg behind me and the chair tipped over.
-somehow i was still holding my smirnoff and none of it spilled.
-GO ME! [[lmao]]
-then kerri && i bounced.
-drove around somemore.
-then went && chilled at her college.
-picked up her bf from work. [[he works at a gas station.]]
-drove them back to the college.
-then bounced home.

-got up around 8am.
-took me forever to get ready.
-starting freaking out cause my car looked like crap.
-then PA Lova called saying she wasn't coming. =( [[she didnt feel good]].
-so i brought the ex.
-finally got to the show around 11am.
-chilled with Absolut per usual.
-left around 330.
-came back to town, had some chilis.
-then dropped the ex off.
-went && dropped off PA Lovas frame she kept forgetting.
-picked kerri up and cruisssed.
-picked her bf up at 1100 again.
-dropped him off at home.
-brought kerri back to her college.
-home and to bed.

I also am the proud new owner of a sunburn! I have a patch of it on my chest and on my face. I look funky because I had my huge avaitors on. Yup, I could totally attract men at the moment. Like hey, you down for some raccoon action baby? Totally.

AND, I don't think I'm going to see Dean.o till the first weekend of May when Pa Lova && I go down. =( Which succcckss. But, its worth the wait. =]


Ding, Ding, Ding, Ding.

So, everyone needs to go to Youtube and type in: "The Yes Dance." It is honestly the weirdest and the funniest thing I've ever ever seen in my life. Let's just say, you'll understand the title of my post when you watch the vid, and then you'll be going out in public waving your hands around, going ding ding ding ding ding ding like me, Pa Lova && Dean.O were doing last night at the chinese buffett.

Anyhoodle. There's a good chance I won't be moving to PA, for a couple different reasons. I'm pretty sure PA Lova will not be moving back. Her && Lil B made up, and I don't forsee them breaking up nor do I forsee Lil B actually wanting to move down there. And there's also a good chance Dean.O is gonna move back up here. Which means Swan won't be moving down. Which means all we need is for Jon && Ash Tits to move up here. =D

[[warning: the following paragraph contains material that may make you go, awww or wtf? or any other sort of random outburst you see fit. you've been warned]]

Dean.O also wants to marry me. Yup, when I was in PA riding home with the boys he blurted it out. And several more times when he was down here for the past couple of days. And, the thing is, I've known Dean.O forever and he is serious, yup so off I go to marry my bestie...

haha. jk. I def. knew for a long while that Dean.O has liked me. (since we met, its been on && off, for 6 yrs) But, we were just friends..till um now. Sorta. We're kinda still in the friendship stage. We're taking it slow. So, who knows what the future will hold.

And yes, he is Sondra's ex, I don't know, she kinda fucked with him hardxcore. They got back together, were fine for a week and now she doesn't even talk to him or even probably think about him. She still misses her babys daddy, which theres nothing wrong with. But, if you do/did so bad, why did she go back to Dean.O. I don't know, it's a hard thing, because both of them are my friends. But, in defense of Dean.O, I have known him longer.

So, who knows. Hopefully Dean.O will move back up here, Pa Lova will stay, and Jon && Ash Tits will move up here. I can only hope. =)


Big Changes? Possibly.

[[Dean.O, Sondra, Ash Tits, Lil B, Jon, Swan, PA Lova, Me aka THE BEST.]]

So, there may be some big changes coming up. Alright, get your eyes ready, it's story time.

So my Pa Lover has been uber depressed. She's seriously homesick. She's currently living with Lil B at his parents, and well, they live in a tiny apartment. =( So, it's not like she could bring her bed or anything except clothes. The other thing she has is her car obvii. [[Charlies brother]] But, Lil B has been in some accidents in the past [[none his fault]] so he's pretty sketch about other people driving. So, most of the time, she doesn't even drive her car! And on top of it, he won't help her pay any of her car payment! Even though he totally is borrowing it all weekend long. He didn't even really ask, just said to her, "I'm taking your car Sunday." [[Swan did ask to borrow it Saturday]]. Even though she wanted to bring it to Staggered [[next car show, woot woot]].

[[Lil B doesn't have a car because in the last accident his car was totalled and somehow the check is taking FOREVER to get here]]

Anyhoodle, so this all brings us to last night. PA Lova && Lil B went to this kid Dustin's house to paint canvas'. [[Lil B does wicked graffitti type artwork.]] So PA Lova came back down and chilled with us. [[the crew!]] Then we went and picked up Lil B and immediately he tried to tell her to get out of the drivers seat..and she said no, I said no and with an angry face Lil B got in the backseat. PA Lova asked why he was mad and he just kinda grumbled he hated not being in control. It bothered him. So, the whole ride home was pretty silent. [[I fell asleep?]] Finally, we got back to Swans, they dropped me off and then went home to eat dinna.

While we were all getting ready to go up to the pike to the get together, PA Lova was texting me, saying she was uber upset and crying. =( Lil B has never really been emotional so he just kinda ignored her. We finally all got to the pike, and PA Lova told me she was seriously considering moving back to PA. I told her I would be uber sad, but I'd totally understand her decision. She said she can't stand how Lil B treats her like a lil kid [[shes 21, hes 26]] and how nothing here is hers...=(

I have no clue what's going to happen. I really don't want PA Lova to leave. =( She's my best friend. But, so are Sondra, Ash Tits, Dean.O && Jon. [[all whom live in PA!]] And Swan is moving down to PA as soon as he fixs his car. So, I dunno. My big decision is maybe, possibly moving to PA!

We [[me, PA Lova, Ash Tits, Dean.O, Jon && Swan]] were all standing in the Dunkin Donuts parking lot last nite. [[Ash Tits had driven 4 freakin hours to come and pick Jon up because Dean.O didn't wanna leave till today and Jon had court at 9am this morning.]] And they were all talking about PA Lova possibly moving back and Swan moving down, and they all turned to me and said it'd be complete if I came too. I almost cried. I'm like WTF! You can't do that to me!

I honestly don't know if I can. I do love it here a ton, but those 5 pple are my life, my besties, and why would I wanna be left behind? I have places to live [[i know that for a fact]]. But , I need a job, a good one like this. And eventually I wanna go to college. So, I'm freaking. Cause if PA Lova does leave, it'll be uber soon. And Swan will probably leave in the next month.

::Sigh:: I love PA, but I don't know. I just don't know.



I'm even sickier than I was yesterday! What the hell, you damn head cold. You're all up in my face, I hate it. [[lol]] But, I'm still in a pretty good mood.

My brother from another mother, Dean.O is home [[i still refer to here as home, even though he's been in PA for 4 yrs now.]] He brought Jon with him, whom I met the last [[not this past time]] time I went down to PA. He's def. cool. They're just up here for the week, taking a break from life down there.

So, in other news, I went to Coco's last night. So much for my rant yesterday. [[lol]] But, isn't that how it always works? I ended up going over around 11, meeting his roomies, Sam && Sly [[no not his real name lol]] && we watched Strange Wilderness on the big screen tv in his living room. I already saw the movie, but it was still entertaining. Eventually his roomies went to bed, and Coco && I just chilled out. We talked a bit, he sorta allowed me to snuggle with him..he didn't want to, to much, only because I'm sick && now that he lives in an actual house, he needs all the money he can. Which is fine. He was polite about it though, he texted me after I left and apologized for not being more cuddy. I pretty much figured out that Coco does want to be with me, because over the past 2 wks he has introduced me to his friends. I've met Colin, Sly && Sam so far. That's honestly saying a lot for Coco.

I don't know, I guess I'll just chill with him, see what happens. I'm weird, if a guy and a girl like each other, I don't agree with going thru the "talking" phase. It's just not my thing. I rather just date. But, it's fine for now. Like I said I enjoy being single.

I would love to just take a big, long nap at the moment. ::Sigh:: I hate colds. They ruin my A-game.


On a Blogging Kick.

Post #3 ehhhhh. Sorry, this is probably the first day in oh, 3 months, that I've actually had absolutely nothing to do here at work. So, I'm posting like crazyyyy.

In 21 days, I will be 23. It feels like just yesterday I was finally the legal drinking age && I was at Sporty's getting an icky Cosmo, because I didn't know what kind of drinks there were out there. [[I hate beer!]] Now my favs are: Sex at My House, Sex on the Beach, and The Upside Down Strawberry Cheesecake. [[[yummmers]]

Anyway, I haven't really thought about my birthday coming up, but I'm not too interested in it. The only thing I am interested in is if my mom && dad are going to get me any parttss for Charlie. =D That'd be aweeeesommmee. =)

On a totally different topic. I honestly give up on the male population. Last night, I had the following text message conversation with Coco [[the boyyy i like]]:

Me: What movie are you watching?
Coco: 8 Mile
Me: Nice, good movie.
Coco: Great movie esp with a cutie
Me: Who's a cutie?
Coco: The girl I'm spooning with. Big spoon obvii. [[he's just fcken weird]]
Me: Uh huh lata.
Coco: Werdd
Me: Pce. Lose my numba.
Coco: Whyyyy???
Me: Cus I don't care that ur wit sum otha chick.
Coco: Lose ur numba
Me: Wat?
Coco: Eatin
Me: Ok.
Coco: U need to chilll.
Me: Ok, u know I like u so i dont want 2 hear bout u cuddlin wit sum chick.
Coco: Idk how u like me so much we never chill
[[this is true, but ive known him for 6 mnths now!]]
Me: Thats not my fault. But ill ttyl. I'm busy.
Coco: Okkk.....

Half an hour later.

Me: Sry was watchin a show
Coco: Sorry I'm not tryin to be mean i didnt know u liked me that much
Me: It's cool. U don't think of me that way huh?
Coco: This is same shit last time i barely know u give it time.
Me: Ook.


Listen here, Coco. You never "chill" with me because you're too busy shotgunning 24 oz cans of Bud Light && making stupid vids about it on Youtube. You piss me off to no end because "I don't fit in" with your type of friends because I'm not from Simsbury, and my mommy and daddy don't have money to buy me those weird ass $80.00 tees you wear. And I'm not super duper skinny and an uber partier like you and all "your pretty friends." Listen, this is 2009. You're gonna be 22 this year, give it up. Life isn't about being shitfaced 24/7, because you wanna "Act" young.

I know deep down inside, theres a sweet, caring Coco. The one who made up having a "gf" just because I started dating BP because you thought I was looking to marry you off the get-go and decided to call me drunk from Rhode Island while I was down in Ocean City doing my "dub thang." [[run-on sentence much?]] I'm honestly tired of trying. Obvii we have something, but you're acting more childish than a 2 yr old and have decided that partying is more impt and liking someone who isn't "in" isn't cool at the moment. So, when you do want to grow up and decide to have a mature relationship with me, then call me, till then, go fuck yourself. And lose my numba. =D

Keirsey Temperament Sorter-II

I was reading ..call me captain backfire and saw that she took the Keirsey test, so I decided to take it too. Below are my results.


Idealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. Idealists strive to discover who they are and how they can become their best possible self -- always this quest for self-knowledge and self-improvement drives their imagination. And they want to help others make the journey. Idealists are naturally drawn to working with people, and whether in education or counseling, in social services or personnel work, in journalism or the ministry, they are gifted at helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potentials.
Idealists are sure that friendly cooperation is the best way for people to achieve their goals. Conflict and confrontation upset them because they seem to put up angry barriers between people. Idealists dream of creating harmonious, even caring personal relations, and they have a unique talent for helping people get along with each other and work together for the good of all. Such interpersonal harmony might be a romantic ideal, but then Idealists are incurable romantics who prefer to focus on what might be, rather than what is. The real, practical world is only a starting place for Idealists; they believe that life is filled with possibilities waiting to be realized, rich with meanings calling out to be understood. This idea of a mystical or spiritual dimension to life, the "not visible" or the "not yet" that can only be known through intuition or by a leap of faith, is far more important to Idealists than the world of material things.
Highly ethical in their actions, Idealists hold themselves to a strict standard of personal integrity. They must be true to themselves and to others, and they can be quite hard on themselves when they are dishonest, or when they are false or insincere. More often, however, Idealists are the very soul of kindness. Particularly in their personal relationships, Idealists are without question filled with love and good will. They believe in giving of themselves to help others; they cherish a few warm, sensitive friendships; they strive for a special rapport with their children; and in marriage they wish to find a "soulmate," someone with whom they can bond emotionally and spiritually, sharing their deepest feelings and their complex inner worlds.
Idealists are relatively rare, making up no more than 15 to 20 percent of the population. But their ability to inspire people with their enthusiasm and their idealism has given them influence far beyond their numbers.
Idealists at WorkIdealists, as a temperament, are passionately concerned with personal growth and development. They are naturally drawn to working with people and are gifted with helping others find their way in life, often inspiring them to grow as individuals and to fulfill their potential both on, and off, the job.
Your beliefs are the arbiter of your actions, even if you cannot articulate those beliefs specifically. You hold a strong, clear sense of the way the universe works, what's "right" and what's "wrong," and what your purpose is in the overall scheme of things. In your ideal job, you can embody those beliefs in your relationships with other people. Because you likely have a talent for de-escalating situations and can almost always find just the "right words", you often significantly improve the morale of organizations to which you belong.

Good morning everyone! Right now, I feeling a little down and out. I have a cold, which I thought went away, but with the wacky weather in PA && CT, I'm still feeling pretty ick. So anyway, onward to the weekend recap. PA Style.

-woke up around 930am. packed.
-went to get Swan, but at the last moment, his mom made him do uber shit for her
-so I went to Lil B's, because PA Lover needed to bring his Ma Dukes to the doctor
-so we dropped her off, went to Home Depot, and grabbed some foodage.
-then we picked her back up, and went and dropped her off at her old job..she needed to get some stuff.
-then we went back to Lil B's, where he scared the living crap outta us, because we thought he wasn't home, and he was actually in the bathroom. [[ass]] lol
-finally swan came with JDubs && Lou [[he had to run an errand with em]] and it was off to PA!!!
-it was succcchhh a beautiful drive down. =)
-we got there around 430ish && stopped at Wifey's house to say helllooo.
-while we were there the fire station alarm went off and it was sooooo loud && went off so many times that I honestly for a second got worried a tornado was on its way.
-after that, we went up Dean.Os && chilled out for a little bit, then went to PA Lovas to drop our stuff off.
-then we hit up Redner's ((the local grocery store)) && got some alchi.
-then it was back to Dean.O's, to chill with all my loverrrs.
-around 1030, we called it a night, because we all felt super shitty.
-back to PA Lovas, around 11pm, I fell asleep on her couch. =)

-woke up around 10am
-got up, dressed && had some awesome breakfast cooked by PA Lovas dad.
-then it was off to the hair salon with PA Lova && her ma dukes.
-got my hair cut && styled @ a fancy salon.
-PA Lova got some blonde highlights, that look gorgeous on her.
-then it was off to Applebee's for lunch && a stop at Wally World for some things.
-then back home to drop PA Lova's momma off && on to pick Lexi up.
-we headed up to Reading for the Reading Dubs GTG.
-no one showed except the people we were with.
-so we bounced && went to Dean.Os.
-we stayed there for a while, then went back to PA Lovas and got some grub.
-then PA Lova && I went out to Sinking Springs to meet up with Ash Tits && her friend.
-went to the bar in the bowling alley.
-tons of super cute guys. <333
-it was karoke nite, and this one guy got up && sang Disturbed so prefectly I wanted to hump him right then and there. [[im ridic!]]
-after two drinks we were outttie.
-i txted the boys to see what they were doing so I had PA Lova drop me off at Chucker Chubbs a bar in Leesport.
-i chilled with Leroy, Dean.O, Swan && Nick.
-we watched New Day play, they're a cover band && they were pretty freakin good.
-around 130am, we left && made our way home.
-we were heading past the turn off for Hamburg, when Swan spotted a cop.
-we were doing the speed limit && nothing wrong, when about a 1/4 mile down the highway were pulled over.
-the cop stated that Dean.O's sticker was misplaced on his license plate.
-which is crap, the cop only pulled him over because he has a modified Volkswagen.
-which wouldnt be a problem, except theres a group called Bad Habbit Motorsports, who pretty much does retarded crap 24/7.
-so the cop was just making sure we werent part of em.
-then it was back to Dean.os to sleep because when the boys dropped me off earlier, PA Lovas mom had locked the door && PA Lovas cell died.
-but I got my own comfy warm bed.
-I passed out round 3am.

-woke up around 11am.
-chilled out till about noon.
-then Swan && I headed to PA Lovas to get our belongings together.
-then it was off to Dean.Os to return the VR6 ((Swan && I needed a car to get back to PA Lovas))
-picked up Swan && headed to Perry's for an Easter buffett with PA Lovas rents
-then went to Wally World to get some spray paint for Lil B's painting he makes.
-then we went back to PA Lovas && loaded the cars up.
-PA Lova && I went to say goodbye to Sondra. =(
-then went up to Dean.Os.
-said goodbye to all our homies there.
-round 4pm, left.
-got home around 830pm, because the traffic was ridic.
-then chilled with the ex for the nite.
-then home && to bed.

Which brings me to nowww. A borring Monday. ((no work)) But, I had an amazing weekend as usual. I'm probably going to go down once a mnth, because PA Lova loves having us come with && her rents miss her terribly. I sadly only visited Sheetz once, on Friday nite with Sondra.

This weekend is another busy one. Seeing Crank 2 Friday, the New York Auto Show in NYC Saturday && another car show Sunday... =) I loveee it.


Insert Something Clever Here.

It's 3:41pm, do you know where you're kids are? [[lol]] As you can tell, I'm in a super random/tiredish kinda mood.

Anyways, tonight I'm going to my friend Lou's birthday dinner with all the other dubber friends..woot woot. Then possibly going to Coco's new "crib" to party, but I'm not really sure. Then it's to bed. I have to wake up tomorrow, shower && pack for PA. (woot going yet again!) Leaving sometime around 1 or 2, when Lil B gets outta work. So, of course on my weekend recap on Monday, that's what it's going to be about.

In other news. I'm getting slightly annoyed. With the ex. He's been pretty persistant in his weekly questionning of my feelings. And every week, it's the same. I don't know. Cause honestly, I don't! I ENJOY being single. Yes, that's right. ME. Now you're probably like so what?? Plenty of women enjoy being single. Nope, not usually me. I always quick have a bf. Saw my ex best friend from high school last night at the mall. This is what she says:

Jess: So, what's the deal with you and the ex?
Me: Nothing, we're just friends.
Jess: Oh, so you think you're ever going to go back to him.
Me: I don't know, right now I just want to be single.
Jess: Wait, you're single?
Me: Yes, and I like it that way.
Jess: But, you, you never ever are single. Usually you have a guy right away.
Me: Thanks, Jesssssss.

Yes, I will fully admit that is true. Becauase I HATE being alone. Which is something I have been working on, and it's not so bad. I'm just enjoying life at the moment, I'm enjoying doing what I want, enjoying working on my car, cruisin, going to volkswagen shows.

BP made me who I am today. I'm stronger, more independent. I believe in myself. He may think I'm just some crazy, or whatever he wants to think..but I'm def. in a much happier place with myself. =) It's amazing.

For now, being single is working out for me. I'll admit I do have interest in someone, but right now, we are just chillen, and that's fine by me.

It's the Dub Life. For me.


Ready, Set, Don't Go.

I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid I'll be alone. I'm afraid of losing a parent, a friend, a co-worker, anyone. I'm afraid of being unemployed, of meeting Mr. Wrong. I'm afraid I won't be successful, I'm afraid of being a mother. I'm afraid of leaving my parents. I'm afraid of the goodbyes, I'm afraid of the possiblity of enduring even more heartbreak.

I'm afraid of...me. I'm afraid of having weak moments. I'm afraid of doing exactly what I want. I'm afraid of finding myself.

I can't deny it anymore. I'm weak. I've been listening to "I Can't Make You Love Me" over and over. I was doing so well. I approached the situation as an adult, and I got adult responses. But then why, does my heart strain? Why is it, that I'm going back to those pictures, looking back at the memories.

I thought my heart had finally fully healed. I realized, that it hasn't. All the guys I took interest in, I never was ME with them. I wanted something to work so bad. But I need to be patient, take a step back.

"Cause there's always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move."

And I need to focus on the climb. There's a reason for everything in life, and I just need to slow down, and wait for it.


Award! Woot Woot.

Thanks to my West Coast Mommy, Bon Don @ Who Throws a Cupcake? Honestly. for the Blogger Best Friend Award. You don't have to do anything && you can certainly pass the award on to your blogger best friends!

So, everyone please head on over to her blog! She has such hillarioous stories about drinking, her super cute gay best friend, and her family!! =) She's such an amazing mother, && a great blogger friend!

And now to pass this award on to my lovely blogger best friends! =)

Cheryl @ Confessions of a Twenty-Something Yr Old.
Sheri @ Sheri's World.
...Call Me Captain Backfire.
Controlled Chaos @ Symphonic Discord

&& I Can't Always Be Your Savior Baby...

Charlie pulling into Dubs on Defrost 2!!! =]]

So this past weekend was pretty damn good. =) It was epic to say the least. Anyways, on to my famous weekend recap.

-I got up around 9.
-Lil B dropped PA Lover off around 11.
-We cruised to the mall, then decided we wanted to go to the outlet mall instead.
-Cruised down to Westbrook, parked near a sexxxay MK5 GTI, that happens to belong to my friend Kyle.
-Went && said hello to him.
-Then went to Rue 21! My new favorite store btw.
-I totally got a tee that said SINGLE LADY in very large bright colors.
-And one that says, Live, Laugh, Love, Rock.
-And a peace sign necklace && bracelet. ((haha))
-After that, we left && ran thru a torrential downpour, which IMO was pretty damn funny.
-After that we headed back home && met up with Lil B, Swan, JDubs, && Lou.
-Then it was on to get our eyebrows doneee ((gotta look fresh))
-Then we grabbed some grub, met up at West's and switcheeed.
-Then Swan, the ex && I went to see Fast && the Furious!!!
-Which was OoO lalalala x1000000.
-Then I went home && passsed out.

-I got up at 630am.
-Hopped in the shower.
-Then washed && detailed my car, which took forever.
-Picked up the ex, J.Wilt && Swan.
-Got some D&D
-Then finally got to the cruise spot @ 1030.
-Left @ 5 of 11:00.
-I led, got to exit 10.
-Retardly turned early..&& ended up in the Big Y parking lot.
-Hat City was there, so everyone just ended up going there.
-Saw BP get out of his car, shot me the dirtest look ever.
-I got in my car, I was done, this was all a mess.
-Swan went && talked to him.
-Apparently BP wanted to talk to me.
-Finally, we figured it all out.
-Swan led everyone out the parking lot.
-We got the road.
-Too mannnny stop lights on the route we took.
-Ended up pulling up behind some dubbers halfway down the road.
-One very angry BP got out of his car, && started heading towards mine.
-He very nicely asked me if I could led the cruise.
-I said sure.
-He said, thank you.
-So I pulled ahead.
-And eventually we got the highway, where I noticed that I was leading, Greek, Dylan, && Dan, whom are all BP's good friends.
-Eventually we got to the show..
-J.Wilt, the ex && I ended up walking around.
-I spotted BP alone, so I walked over to him...and we started talking.

Me:What the hell happened?
Him: Thank you, thank you again. I have no clue, it all started this morning. I was up till 430am working on the motor, and then we all wanted to meet up at 9, I got lost, my car is broken..
Me: Wow, that sucks. I lowered my car.
Him: I saw, it looks nice, what do you have on it?
Me: Vogtland 35mm springs.
Him: See told you they'd be nice.
Me: Mmmhm, well talk to you later.
Him: Yeah.

-Then I walked away, && enjoyed the rest of the day.
-It was pretty windy && cold, so around 330, I took off with Absolut && PA Lover && Lil B && we all cruised down to White Castle in NY.
-Where we all kinda got grossed out by the burgers.
-After that, me, J.Wilt && the ex cruised to Clinton && hung out with Jess && Preston.
-Then we dropped Preston off at the Sub Base, && went home.

-Woke up around 1100.
-Got dressed && then I went out with PA Lover.
-We cruised down to the outlets again, so she could return some stuff.
-Then we went to the beach, && the tide was sooo freaking far out, so we walked along, out to the tide.
-Wrote in the sand, took some pics.
-And walked thru a lot of freezing cold water.
-Then we hopped back into the car && went && grubbed @ Subway.
-Then we cruised down to the Sub Base && got Preston.
-Then it was back to home to pick up J.Wilt && drop off PA Lover.
-Then Preston, J.Wilt && I cruised down to Clinton.
-Where we had an awesome meal made my Jess. <333
-We chilled && then went && dropped Prest off around 900.
-Started cruising, the wrong way home, didn't realize till we saw a sign that said "Welcome to Rhode Island."
-J.Wilt && I burst out laughing hardxcore.
-Finally, we got it right.
-Then we just cruised around town, talking, && I was home && passed out by 1130.

So, that was the weekend! It wasn't bad, nothing horrid happened..&& I enjoyed it!



about the weekend tomorrow. oh the epicness of it. let me just say this. 3 states , 1 accidently. good times. =)


On Love.

"Love is triumph of imagination over intelligence."

Last night, I was talking to my friend Preston via text message about love. He had commented that the art of making love is lost. I told him in general, the art of love itself was lost. Most people only care about one thing, themselves. He agreed, saying that, "The age of free love is dead."

Why is it so hard for people to trully love now-a-days? To just let go and be free, and let love overtake them? Because most people, in my opinion, do not care about anything but themselves. True, to love deeply, I believe you must love yourself first. It is only when you can trully love yourself, that you are able to deeply and passionately love another.

But, for most, loving only themselves works. Everyone's so afraid of being hurt, of getting their heart broken, that they don't fully show themselves to one another. Everyone's been thru something in their life, that occasionally comes back to haunt them, but they all have one thing in common, they made it thru the darkness. So, why cannot we love without regard?

Why must we put up a wall? Flee the second something doesn't go exactly as that person wants it too? Only to move on to someone else, because that's nature, that moving on is best. Dwelling gets us no where. Why can't we take a step back, reevaluate ourselves, reevaluate the other person, and think, can I? Can we?

It takes two to tango. No one is perfect, no one will be perfect. You'll fight and love, cry and laugh with every relationship, every encounter you have in life. So, why not take that one flaw that someone has, and instead of completely dismissing them out of your life, turn into something positive. Laugh instead of cry.

Yes, hearts will still be broken. But, at least yours might be broken smiling. Don't look back and say what if? Think back and look at the memories. Smile because at one time, someone loved you with all they had. And take the time, to reevaluate you, and live life. Life is full of wonder and possibitly. Life isn't about luck. Life and love is about what you make it. It's not about how smart of a decision something is.

Love is one of the greatest emotions ever. It also can hurt like a bitch. Time heals, time helps. And everyone needs to help themselves. Without love, the world wouldn't go round. Without love, there wouldn't be pictures, there wouldn't be laughter, there wouldn't be pain. Love is the emotion of all other emotions. Love is the center of our world.

Love isn't like the fairytales though. Love takes time, love takes work. Love doesn't happen overnight.

You can never replace someone you once loved. You can only grow stronger as a person, inside and out, and love someone without regard. It is at that very moment, when love can be trully be felt. When love is real. When you are real.


I'm pretty sure I'm in the most epic of moods ever. I'm totally stoked to have tomorrow off, and get to chill with my favorite PA Lover!! =)

On my to-do list is:
Print out directions && make about 40 copies
Clean out Charlie, vacuum, wash his dash && windows
Wash && clay bar him
Go to the mall && buy something cuteee for Saturday!
Go see Fast && the Furious with Swan, J.Wilt && the ex!
Go to sleep earlyish
Wake up @ like 830
Wipe Charlie down ((its supposed to rain tomorrow nite))
Apply instant detailer ((hes gonna shine like a star!))
Roll to Cruise Spot
Roll to Newton to meet up with the Danbury Cruise
Roll to Show
Then roll to White Castle in Jerzee!

[[I'm soooo stokeddd! Bet you can't tell!]]

Anyway, Mustang Mike && I are no more. Last nite, J. Wilt && I went to the mall near his house, && he decided to "stay in", so afterwards I called him, && surprise he never picked up. So, his loss. I'm currently dating no one at the moment && I'm quite content with that.

Men ((most are boys still)) are just stupid && too much about themselves. So, ya know what fuck em! =D I'm ready for Saturday. Bring it. [[you know who.]]


I've Gone...

INSANE! I just posted something in my buddy profile on AIM, and I'm not even sure why, but the ending was perfect. =) I'll share it sometime soon. Just not at the moment. I'm in one of my moods..clearly.

3. [[Making Ist Epic Since 1986.]]

I'm totally in a much better mood today! J.Wilt && I made up =). And last night I went to dinner with Swan && Mustang Mike. <333 And then to the Absolut gtg, which wasn't too too bad. Just chilled out with everyone, it's never going to be like it was a year ago, but eh, it's all good.

Nothing to really talk about though. That's depressing. ::Sigh::
Don't worry, I'll have plenty of pics && things to say after this weekend.