Update, and Thank You!

I'd like to thank Sheri. =) She's provided me with words of encouragement thru a tough time in my life. I love you girl! I know the world isn't over but it still def. hurts and probably will for quite sometime now.

Last night was my absolute turning point. I'm moving forward and never going back. I got the rest of my stuff back last night. I said I wanted everything back but the dick didn't have to include everything I GAVE HIM. (immaturity is really starting to show).

Anyway, so the Ex and I went to his work. We're just friends now, and I needed some moral support. Not a good idea btw. I pulled up, walked in, and the first thing BP says is, "Who's in the passenger seat?" (excuse me?!) "the Ex", I said. He starts to beeline for the door and I'm fearing the worst. He goes to his car, opens the trunk, takes out the bag, gives me to me, walks around me, and yells....

"Have fun fucking him."
"What the fuck?"
"You heard me."
I'm grumbling to myself, "Are you serious?"
"Fuck you," he says.

And walks inside. 10 mins later I'm arguing with him about the nonsense that went on. He hangs up on me. (mature) I ask the ex to grab the bag, he opens it, starts naming off shit I gave to BP. I call him back, ramble ramble ramble I was starting to think I made a mistake.

"Wait, what?" I said.
"I was starting to think I made a mistake, but you treat me like such crap, that I don't know now."

Tell him I'm gonna come visit (again) afterwards. Get some food, drop the ex off. Go to his work with a big smile and a heart full of hope.

He sees the look on my face, realizes he said something wrong. "You came here expecting something differently, didn't you?" he says. "Yeah," I reply. But, I can already sense what's coming. The line that travels around the world in my mind.

"I can't do it right now."

Finally, more stuff comes out. The fact that he's too grown up for his own good. That he wants to be 19/20 and not 25/26. He wants to focus life on being young, and just going with the flow. (what dumbass gave him that advice, oh me!) He tells me he wants to go away to school to get his Bachelor's. Possibly WestConn, possibly somewhere in New York. Tells me he wants out of the VW scene, he wants a Jeep.

I tell him I have to say goodbye. As much as I'd like to be his friend, I can't. It hurts. I have to leave. He says, ok. We hug x3. I walk out, watch him as he looks back at me. I pull out, leave and cry. Call the bestie. Tell her what happened.

She doesn't really care. I can hear it in her voice. She sounds annoyed. Annoyed she couldn't see her new bf (obsession really) because of the snow. Annoyed that House wasn't on because 24 was. Tells me her phone's going to die.

She may tell the guys she loved goodbye and mean it..but then I don't think she really loved them. Actually I know she never really loved them. How can you just say goodbye to someone you love and that's it?

I go and pick the Ex back, cry again. Drive around and talk some more. Now I know how it was to be in his shoes when I did this to him. It sucks hardcore. =( DMB texts me, tells me he's ready to meet up.

We do, he cheers me up a little. But it's different, it always is. I go home. Lay in bed, talk to BP about how I need him to help me with the lowering springs when I get them. Tell him fine, I'll be your friend. The whole convo he's snippy and snappy at me. It hurts.

I wake up this morning, driving to work I'm listening to Daughtry. Over You is on. I listen to the lyrics, and smile.

Because believe it or not, this time I'm Over You.