Just Let It Go.

That right there is probably the best advice [in my opinion] that I have ever given my best friend. And when she follows it, she feels the weight of the world come of her shoulders. I kinda see that Erik is trying his hardest to follow it too. I, myself, well for the most part I am following it, except in one area.

Which would be the ex area. I tell myself I'm not going to call him, not going to text him, contact him on Myspace or talk to him on Xbox. But it happens. And not because I'm still dying to be with him or anything like that. I just worry. I have a huge heart and alot of times, well to say the least, it gets me into trouble. I just want Dan to be happy. But I CAN'T make him be happy without me. I realize he was very happy with me. I wish I could have returned that favor. But I couldn't.

And now I'm stuck at a rock and a hard place. I know my talking to Dan bothers Erik alot. I know it feels like he's competeting with Dan for my attention. But he's not. Erik has all my attention whenever he wants and needs it. But soon I have cut myself off from Dan. It's not healthy for any of us. If I continue to talk to him, who knows, maybe Erik will get frustrated enough to end it.

Ahhh. I don't know. I can't be harsh, it's not me. [as many people know] I just want Dan TO BE HAPPY!!! and that's probably the main reason for my talking to him. But he needs to be happy with himself and love himself before he can ever ne happy with anyone else or love anyone else.

Alrite, makes me feel better I got that all out. Now if I get this stupid cough outta me too, I feel 10000x better. Grrr.

At least I have baberz to make me feel like a million dollars. <33