And This Is Why We Are Best Friends.

As you all know, my job entails quite a bit of nothing but sitting bored outta my mind lurking the internets for some good reads or playing games on addictinggames.com. Or talking to my BFF Swan. We have some pretty interesting conversations. Like this one where we are for sure quoting Dane Cook lines.

Swan: im to hopped up on the Q right now

Me: ur on the Q?!

Swan: yeas try it out

Me: i should. i was hopped up on it last nite actually come to think of it.

Swan: you were strung out rideing your big wheel

Me: yes yes i was. i was just riding around the block like omfg, omfg, i think, i think a bee just flew by me. fuck bees?! I think im gonna punch em in the face.

Swan: o shit son... want to play kick ball

Me: yes. but after i tell that glass bastard to stop wearing tights, i dont think its right that a big talking bowl of punch is wearing tights.

Swan: kick him in the tights hes very top heavy and he will go down stupid glass bitch

Me: stupid glass bastard! how am i gonna explain to my dad how a big talking bowl of punch just busted in like, O Yea! Naughty Naughty Kool-Aid.

Swan: sweating and condinsating all over the fucking floor

Me: seriously. i was just minding my own business eating my christ chex..and bam! The Kool-Aid just slams thru the wall going O Yea! while simutaneously my Christ Chex is shouting good morning sunshine! I'm like really? Fuck bees.

Swan: yea and then the movie dune was in my choclaty drink. I dont like when the movie dune is in my drink

Me: that happened to you tooo? Then my car alarm went off..so I decided to make a song about it to help me forget about the Kool-Aid man and the Christ Chex dude.

Swan: seeeeaaaat belts radiioooo nobbs

Me: It's a lovely song isn't it? So anyways, I went and turned on the tv and theres some dude like all up in the trees, like watch as I punch this baboon in the ass. And I was like WTF ?!

Swan: oyea he keep yelling come on lets go so i was putting on my shoes like witch lagoon are you at im coming to get you!

Me: I know. He was rather tricky. Then he stuck his head into a bee's nest and was like wow what a beauty! And..then I thought..I really need to punch bees in the face!

Swan: then when i got there he said watch as i stick my balls in the horse's mouth and slap it with a lead pipe! Crickey!

Me: Dude. So nasty! Then I had to go to DMV or as I call it..Satan's Asshole.

Swan: I did to i was wishing that stupid kool-aid man would burst threw the wall it was fuckin hot in there

Me: hahha. yea. You know what I realized last night? That you know you're drunk when you get into a taxi cab and think that the fare is the time.

Swan: haha yea and the driver was minding his own biz obaying the rules of the road when some idiot started to merge with no signal and the driver was black so it was something like check out this mother fuckerrr

Me: dude i love when they say that! Oddly enough my driver was a woman and she needed to stop at Burger King or the BK Lounge as I like to call it..and she was like and the pickles, the pickles, sweet n sour sauce all over my body. And I was like, um check out this motherfuckker!


--Seriously, we are bored but it was an awesome convo! hahaha--