Dear Bestie....

Dear Bestest Friend,
You know I loovee you to death. But I have to be honest (again) and I know you may or may not hate me for this. But are you crazy? Are you all there in the head? I understand fully that you want to find a husband, settle down, and start family. But please please please chill the fuck out. I know you think you're in love with Jake. But I honestly don't feel like you are. You said you loved every guy who've ever been with. Don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you are in love with love. I know you believe that "true love" is like a fairytale, its perfection, the man marries you shortly after you meet and then you start family, stay home, watch the children, cook and clean. But that's not real life. Real life is not having a whole lot of money, real life is fighting and arguing, real life is waiting till you both have steady income to have children.

I wish I could tell you that I was happy that you have Jake. But, I'm not. This happens every month. (or seems like it) Honestly. I'm not trying to offend you. I just think in my opinion that you need to think with your head and not with the heart that just wants a husband sooo badly. Calm down, stop trying to grow up so fast, be 22. You're not 30 or 40. You're 22. Granted yes I was engaged prior to this relationship and yes baberz and I are extememly happy and have every intention of getting married in the future. But, we're taking it slow. (And he lives around here.)

I'm not trying to make you feel shitty. I'm not trying to belittle you. I'm trying to get you to realize that sometimes your decisions are stupid. I'm sorry I hate listening to you talk about Jake and how you can't wait to go to Germany and see him and how you would say yes to him if he proposes to you. First off, for your own safety, you don't even know this kid. It's not like he lived here and went off to the Army and you knew of him or knew him personally. You're going to a foreign country to meet a man whom you've never met in person. And you're going to say yes to marrying him? You don't know how he is in person. You don't know his homely habits. You don't know anything about this man. Except again like I've said before, he looks good on paper. He's the perfect one on paper. But in real life you don't know how he is.

Do you want to move out to Germany honestly? Live on base in some crappy little housing project because you don't know it could be out there. You would need to change over EVERYTHING to live there, you'd need to figure out to drive a right hand drive car if you want to drive, find a job and deal with being alone. I hate that I'm saying all this, but you can't just pick a military man, think he's good enough on paper and accept his proposal because you're so desperate to want the whole family thing. I know I sound like the crappiest friend right now but this is insane.

And it has to stop, I fully believe you are capable of meeting a man here, you just need to sit back and relax. Let them come to you. Not just persue an internet man, esp. ones that live so far away. I love you, but you're getting carried away now. It seems like every few months, we'll be driving in the car and you'll be telling me how you can't wait to marry so and so and how you can't wait to move here and there with them. Please for your own safety chill outtt.

Be you. Live your life now, not always thinking about the future. You're 22, relax. Give life time to do its thing. It'll all work out, but you have to let it. You can't force yourself to believe that someones for you just because that's what you want. Or you'll be uhappy.

I love you to death and I'm sorry if this offended you. But I can't take it anymore. I can't pretend to be happy when you are pushing yourself into silly situations. Just livee.....