Confusious Say: Dumbass, Go to School!

So as promised here comes my story of how I screwed myself in the schooling department.

When I graduated from high school, I immediately went to college. I didn't go to a big fancy school or anything like that. I ended up going to NVCC, which is my hometown of the Dirtee Dirtee.

(It also happens to be the school where baberz is going at the moment.)

For the strangest reason, I decided that I wanted to pursue Criminal Justice. I had my heart set on being a cop. I did well for the first couple of months, going to all my classes, and I even had a class with this girl who I went to high school with. I was proud for being a full-time student and proud for taking all these classes. =D Eventually though, I got lazy and decided that it wasn't for me. And I decided there was no way I could become a cop, I couldn't endure it.

I dropped out halfway thru the semester..which wasn't a good thing on my part at all. My parents were paying for my schooling because at the time I didn't qualify for financial aid because my parents made too much. They weren't happy with how I went about with it but hey, at least I didn't finish up and do nothing with a degree that I didn't want.

So, I starting looking for full-time work in an office. 5 years later, here I am my wonderful job. (It's one year today!!!!)

I went back to school again about a year ago. I went to the community college in the next town over and started taking classes for general studies. The next semester I ended up changing my major to Elementary Education with a Specialization in Earth Science. I took some pretty good classes that semester but my brain must have told me this is not what I trully wanted to do so I ended up doing less than I was capable of.

This past year I somehow qualified for financial aid. Which now my parents are paying 50 a mnth for because I cannot afford it.

So, here I am. It's going to be the beginning of a new semester soon. I struggled with the concept of going back to school (for the third time!). I discussed with my baberz, asked him if it was even smart given the fact that I can not go full-time because I need my full-time job to afford everything I have. I thought about the future, thought to myself if in my mind it made since. Thought about how long it's going to take, thought about graduating, working for a year or two in that field, having children, taking time off.

( I adamently refuse to go the daycare route. No offense to anyone that does it..I just don't agree with it. I'm rarely opinionated...so.)

Baberz told me it was up to me what I wanted to do but he would rather see me further my education. I want too, but I have no clue what I want to do. Yesterday, I mentioned in my blog that I wanted to do dental assisting. But, of course that's pretty much off-limits due to the fact that you need clinical. (Which is training in the hospital for like 8 hrs a day)

So, I'm at a stand still. And I'm mad at myself for wasting the time I had to devote myself fully to school. I mean I loveee this job, but I don't love office jobs in general. I have a very ADHD kind of personality and I hate doing nothing or doing something which allows my mind to wander.

I'd enjoy doing something hands on, but I'm not sure what. I'm going to check out some more nursing options and I'm looking at the possiblity of a degree in Early Childhood Education, Social Services. Hopefully, I'll get something down. And stick to it and work hard. Maybe actually paying for a class will inspire me to do better..I can only hope.