Unsent Letters Volume 1

Kerri over at your wishcake just did a post on unsent letters. So, I thought why not clear my thoughts a bit. Read on..and feel free to do some of your own!


1. Seeing you yesterday was something I expected. What I did not expect was the hello and goodbye I got from you. It was honestly nice. But, I must confess I saw something. Deep inside your eyes, I saw the pain. And whether or not you believe that what we had is said and gone, it is. If you ever need me, you know I'm just a phone call or message away. I always wanted what was best for you, and time after time, all I see is heartbreak surround you. I want you to know that I tried so hard to make you happy, but you have to look deep inside to open yourself up and accept the happiness that you do deserve. You're an amazing person when you want to be, and one day you'll make some girl very happy. I miss our friendship, because I think that's what we were best at. I don't regret dating you, because it has helped me grow and learn. Now, it's your turn. And, I'm glad you don't hate me. I know you may shy away, and have to act 20, but I know you don't hate me. If you hated me, you would have avoided me. You would not have to come to the group and looked directly at me and said hello. And you would not have done the same when you said goodbye. But, I want you to know, it didn't hurt the way maybe you thought it would. It hurt me because inside you, I saw angst and hate for what has happened in your life. And as always, what have I told you? To let it go. And I think it's time. And you'll see life isn't about living for everyone else. It's not about what your parents or your sister or your friends want. It's about what you want. You need to take the time to do what you need too. And I'm starting to see that. I was honestly surprised you came alone yesterday, because that's something I've never seen before. But, you've always loved Volkswagens more than I, and that's why you don't see me often at shows. But, thank you again, for realizing that what we had almost a year ago, our friendship, is what we really should think about. It's easier that way isn't it? I'll see you around sometime, I'm sure, and I hope every encounter is just as pleasant.

2. You know I love you. We've been friends for almost 10 long years. We've had our ups and downs, but that's what makes our friendship unique. But, there's something that bothers me. The way you treat others. When we were at the store the other night, and you needed a custom frame, and the nice woman told you that it took 2-3 weeks, there was no need for you to scream at her, about how it was ridiculous and belittle her. You seem to do that alot if you don't get your way. I just don't understand where you get off thinking that you're high and mighty? Even after you belittled that poor woman, she still helped you out. She could of told you to fuck off, which I'd probably tell you, if I didn't know you, because it's not her fault they don't have what you need. It's your fault for waiting till the day before to finish your project. And it's not the first occurence when we were at a store, where you felt like the world needed to be exactly the way you wanted it to be. I've worked in retail, and I honestly take very high offense to the way that you treat some of the people that work in these stores like they personally do everything in their power to piss you off. Sometimes, I can't honestly take your overly brash way of thinking. And how dare you even say what you said about how you're future is starting soon, and how you don't feel that you could even afford to give you're brother money for his wedding because he doesn't matter at the moment and your future is starting. We will always have things we don't like about one another. It's life. But, honestly I cannot take how self-centered and brash you are sometimes. Sometimes I just want to slap the shit outta you and tell you that the world isn't always what you expect and just to grow and get over it, instead of belittling people. Stop thinking about life is just a habitual cycle, make it fun. Stop thinking that life is going to become a fantasy world one day, because it isn't. This is reality. You will work, you will have a family. Don't push you're poor bf who looves you into having a family in two years. That isn't fair to him. When you're BOTH ready, then it's time. Don't give him an ultimanium, that's not fair. But, I love you no matter what because you are a good friend. But chill out, please.

3. Sometimes I wish you'd stop being such a bitch. I love you because you're my mother. But when you scream at me to move out, I just wanna cry so hard. You always make me feel like shit. Honestly. I try and tell you, but you always say that it's my fault. It has to be. I don't know why. Remember when that guy broad sided me at a stop sign because he thought it was his turn..remember how you still found a way to blame me. Saying that if I just paid more attention, maybe I would have avoided it. That hurt. It wasn't my fault at all, but you want to believe it was somehow. I will never be as good as my brother. He will always get A's & B's and one day he will make a fine math teacher. I am not him. I am me. I make mistakes, alot of them. I couldn't tell you why. Maybe because I'm afraid of failure? So, I get scared and don't do what I have too? I'm not sure. But whatever the case, get off my ass sometimes. Stop making me feel like I'm some horrible child, who gets arrested, does drugs and drinks heavily. Because I don't and I won't. I drive the speed limit, I rarely drink, and I def. do not do drugs. But still you see me as some horrible person. I told you I wanted to be a phelbotomist last year, when I had money, but of course you & dad shot me down. Because you don't think I can do it. But now places everywhere need help for that. And now all of a sudden its pertinet for me to save up 1700 for the class. I'm just sick of you treating me like a little kid. I've been trying to do better in life. But, you, you just choose to tell me that going to college is stupid because I won't apply myself. Well I will, I understand what I need to do. So be an understanding mom, instead of a biitch. Because that's what I need.

4. I feel hurt by you. You were a very good friend at the beginning but then you decided to just push me out. You let some cheating lying bitch push me out. I tried. And when I do see you, it hurts even more because only then when you have no one else will you come to me. You're all about being nosey and gossipy. Leave everything and everyone alone. No ones trying to steal you're bf. I thought we'd become close. But, I feel like you just used me when bf wasn't around or he was busy at a show. And that hurts. Alot. But, this is life. And I understand. I'll see you here and there, but when you're down or mad or whatever don't come to me, because I don't care.

5. You're one of the sweetest guys I know. You're a good friend, you're funny and you don't drink which is a huge plus. If I wasn't with someone, I would be down with seeing where our friendship could go. But I'm happily with someone and soon enough you will be too. I hope anyways, because you deserve it. I know out there, there has to be a woman whom enjoys golfing and cars. Let's go find her kid. Don't ever let anyone stand in you're way because you're destined to be amazing at life. You're one of those people that are so excited to see everyone and that stares clear of drama. Go you!

6. One day I will have the privilege of calling you mom. Well mother in law. And yes I do love you a ton. But you're poor son is fucked because of you. Harsh I know. But between you and his dad, I wonder sometimes how you two got to become parents. You work way too much, you're always travelling and almost always a biitch. I refuse to do any yardwork because I'm your guest. Yes, I'm over often. And no I don't think I'm princess. But, I'm not you're sons friend. I'm his girlfriend, probably soon to be fiance again. I pick up you're dog from daycare every week. I go out of my way, waste at least 10 miles of gas for you're pooch. I take him to the park. And remember how you once rudely fed him a cheesburger in the back seat of my BRAND NEW CAR and he slobbered it all over. Thanks. Really how dare you!? And then you get mad at me when I didn't pay you back as quickly as you woulda liked? Ok, I understand you wanted you're money. But honestly, you know I'm poor. Don't pull me the side and tell me how rude I am. When you practically force me into taking your dog into my brand new car..and I'm still really annoyed about the time you allowed him to drool all over my car. I didn't even know what to say! You probably woulda started yelling at me..and telling me that I shouldn't be rude to you. But its ok that your son's friend owes you 5000 for a school loan..and wait, he did nothing with his degree!
But, I'm the bad one. Because I broke his heart and didn't pay you, right? Trust me when I say, there are worse things. I love you, and I'll be happy to be you're daughter in law one day..but, sometimes you make me wanna run screaming from your home.

Well, there are just some of my unwritten letters. Sorry they're longggg. But, I had a lot to say! ((lol)) I think I'm gonna try and do this weekly. It's a nice release. Def. a nice release. So, feel free to do your own, I'm excited to read em! =D