Sometimes...

I just wanna smack LB. As you all know, Leah and I do not get along. As I have stated before she called me a whore on my facebook wall after I started dating BP, and her and LB's best friend's ((Leahs bf)) sister wrote me nasty messages on facebook. I attempted to play volleyball with her last week, and I left upset because the whole time I was met with stares, giggles and inside jokes.

But no, LB still presses the issue. Yes, I know that everyone else except her don't mind me. But I know Leah will steal Amanda ((LB's other best friends gf)) away and sit in the corner giggling and staring. And the boiis will be playing Wii or drinking together. He thinks I don't know this..he thinks I'm just assuming things, thinks I'm making it worse than it is. I wouldn't mind going if we weren't gonna be stuck in Leah and LB's best friends tiny apartment all night long consuming alcohol. ((Well, probably not me, only because I really have been drinkin more than I wanna. Well more times a week than I wanna.)) I know he wants to see his best friends and spend time with them, but until I feel that Leah won't verbally abuse me or stare at me or say shit..then I want nothing to do with her. LB claims shes not like that..and he defends her like crazy because she helped him during a hard time. ((obvii when I broke his heart))

I'm just tired of feeling guilty and bratty, and like I only want it my way because it's no good any other way. That's not true! It's not like we are going to a party or out somewhere, we are all gonna be in their tiny apartment. I apologize in advance for being screwed over by almost every chick friend I've ever had. ((except Amy..)) I have bad trust issues and I always think everyone is talking about me because I was picked on in middle school so bad. I'm sorry that Absolut doesn't make me feel any better nor that PA Lova does either. I'm sorry the chick practically used to me so she didn't have to be alone at car shows.

I'm just sick of getting mistreated by people and feeling like I have to be forced into trying to amend things before I'm ready. Cause I'm sorry but Leah is a biitch. She was good friends with her bfs sis and that went haywire...and I know a lot of her friendships went downhill..I'm not sure why..but Leah can be pretty bitchy. If he wants to go over there, that's fine..but I could care less to give up my ability to be happy.

Ok, I feel better. Sorry for ranting. I'm just sick of LB making me feel like shit and that its all my fault.

"My Bike Could Beat A Ferrari.."

Coco texted me that last night after I told him there was a Ferrari at Pig Out. Crotch rocket v. Ferrari? Hmmm.

Anyways, before I type anything else, I must tell you about a contest the lovely Far @ My Everyday Soap (Opera) is having! She is having a giveaway as a thank-you to everyone who reads her blog! She just became a certified make-up artist and the photos and work she's done is great! So get your booties on over to her blog and enter her contest and check out her work!There's two prizes being given away!!

This weekend my bestie Swan is going to Ocean City MD for Dubs on the Beach ((ya know that thing I was not invited too!?)). Anyways, Swan, LB and I all went out to Pig Out last night for some drinks. Swan tells us that J.Dubs and Lou are short 3 people. So, they need everyone to pay an extra 30 bucks on top of the 70 everyone had already given em before. ((Here weeee goooo...)) Plus, I believe that I read somewhere ((forums btw! lol)) that they want 25 from everyone for food so that they don't have to go out and waste money.

So, I feel like this weekend is going to turn out just like H20 ((click it!)) did for me and LB. Swan is on his way down now with Mr. West. LB and I already informed Swan whom will inform Mr. West of how it's going go. Bascially, if they don't do exactly what J.Dubs and Lou and Co. wanna do, well then, they will be cast out like D-list celebrities. So, I waiting patiently for a video/picture/text to pop up over my phone this weekend. Cause Mr. West will not deal with that sitting around thing they do. One key=retards going out at midnite=locking others out=probably a fight. That's all I'm saying. =P

Anyways, I digress. So, my dad told me about maybe applying at a volunteer ambulance corps. And I thought, hmmm, maybe I'll look into that. Apparently, there's actually a step before EMT-B which MRT (Medical Response Technician). The MRT is only 250.00 which is alot more feasiable at the moment then the 600.00 EMT-B class. Well, I looked into it and the next town over has MRT classes. They are also willing to reemburse you for that class and the EMT-B class. Unfortunately though, I just missed the MRT class ((it started May 19th)) and there's nothing on the website about any other classes up and coming yet. And there really isn't much in the way of MRT classes..soo hopefully something pops up in the fall. =D

Yup..Money Makes Me Hate Life!!

So, I deleted my last post about being uber excited to go to Florida. Why? I STILL CANNOT AFFORD IT! Thanks for the comment Sheri !!! =) So, Cape Cod is still on. For how long, I'm not sure. Probably like 3-4 days. Oye being poor!!

So, this weekend LB and I will actually be taking a little one day trip up to Boston. We're nerdos so we are for sure going to hit up the science museum. Even though I'm a Yankee fan I do prefer visiting Boston as opposed to visting NYC. So much walking and getting nowhere (in my opinion) in New York. Idk, just a personal prefence I suppose.

That's about all I got for today. Nothing else really going on.

I Had This Thought, "I Really Like To Punch Your Volkswagen In the Cunt, Ya Know If It Had One?"

Good Tuesday morning everyone. I'm sitting here chillen out at work per usual. Hope everyone had a good weekend! And um excuse me, where are the comments!!! Just playing..kinda. I shall get to my weekend recap in a moment but for now I digress.

So, like everyday that I'm at work, I am signed into AIM, when an IM pops up from Tim. I've know Tim for about a year now, he's part of AbsolutDubs when he's home. ((he currently goes to school in Boston)). Anway, he said:

TIM:
"hey"
"hows charlie"
"where were you sunday"

ME:
"I'm good, what was sunday?"
"I mean, charlies good, what was sunday?"

TIM:
"Lol thats good."
"j.dubs had people over her house"
"where were you?"
"well iI'm off to class, talk to you later."

And just like that, he signed off, without me able to say a word. I knew j.dubs was having people over, but as you all know, I pretty much dropped outta the dub scene, so I was a) not invited and b) didn't care to show up. I miss Tim, but eh. Fuck em.

Anywho:

Friday
-got outta work. went to LB's.
-we decided to call up Jay and Amy ((the ones with the mini dauschands Charlie and Peanut??)) ok nvrmind if you don't member. ((lol))
-we went over there around 730, then peaced out and drove the hour and a half to West Nyack, NY to Dave and Busters!!!
-we got some foodage, and played some games. LB and I had close to 4000 tickets combined, but we couldn't figure out what the hell to get.
-I ended up with a patrick ((from spongebob)) stuffed animal. he's dressed like a pirate! ((lmao))
-LB ended up getting a mini USB travel kit because it came with a tiny mouse, and he needed it for the laptop.
-We ended up leaving around 2am, and got home around 315am.
-Then it was to LBs to sleepy, we were pooped.

Saturday
-We woke up around 930am and got ready.
-Played Xbox for a while..then went to the bar with his dad to get some lunch.
-Then it was off to my cousin's son's birthday party at my aunt's.
-Chilled out, ate some foodage, and then around 630 we went back to LB's.
-Justin, Jay and Amy ended up coming over, and the boiis watched silly youtube vids while Amy and I played Sorry! and card games.
-I haven't seen Justin either in forever. His wife is actually Amy's cousin. And they're prego! They're expecting Grace next month! =) I'm uber excited!
-They left around 1am and it off to bed.

Sunday
-Woke up around 1030am and chilled out.
-We went out for a little while, then came back and mowed the lawn, had some lunch and then went out with the bestie and her bf.
-We ended up trecking up to Cabela's.
-Walked around there for a while and then it was back to LB's where I made brownies.
-Around 9pm we ended up going to Jay and Amy's and watched Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
-It was a seriously funny movie.
-Around midnite, we called it a night because LB had to work yesterday.
-Got home, played a little Xbox and then it off to bed.

Monday
-Woke up at 900am.
-Got everything out to make eggs and bacon. ((now that I think of it I forgot the toast, oopsie))
-Made LB breakfast with chocolate milk...(((mmmmmm)))
-Then he was off to work at Subway for 11am-3pm.
-I cleaned up and then it was off to the doggie park in Southington with Mulligan.
-Stayed there for about 20 mins while he ran around sniffing and running and ewwwieeee slobbering.
-Took him home, made sure he had enough food and water and that he wouldn't be too hott or cold and then it was home for me.
-Chilled out watching some Full House and such.
-Then went to visit LB between his jobs.. ((he had to work at Wings for 5pm))
-Played some Xbox then went back home to get some fried dough
-Tried to watch tv but kept falling asleep
-Swan texted me around 7pm saying he was home ((he went to PA for the weekend))
-We went to LBs for a bit ((he wasn't home, but noooooo way would I do anything with Swan EVER))
-Then to Wally World, drove around a bit then went back to LBs
-LB got outta work, then we chilled for about half..
-Brought Swan home because he was uber tired and got some gas and then back to LB's.
-Played some more Xbox and then it was time to go home around 1230.

And there you have it! Had an awesome weekend with LB. <333 Possibly going to Primer this weekend in Rhode Island..((car show)). Who knows! Have a great day everyone...won't be posting tomorrow as you know because I don't work Wednesdays!

=p

So, I'm Pretty Sure That..Oh Forget It.

Hellooooo again. It's me. The uber, I have no clue. Wow, this is getting no where. I have a lack of thinking ability right now. It's dead quiet in the office. We all have nada to do, a rare feat indeed. So, I think we should all just go home. But, I don't see forsee that happening. Usually the owner would call by now. But, he hasn't. There's approx half an hour left till we find out if there is any sort of hope..after 3pm..forget abouttt it.

I'm currently starring at my arms. I believe they got smaller ((yay!)). I have chicken skin though or exezmea (sp?). I'm going to WebMd it. Well, that was gross. I decided to click on some pics..and honestly..don't ever take a pic of your pimples or skin-whatever up close! SO nasty!

I digress.

Last night, LB and I were also discussing moving. Like to another state. As you all are well aware of, I have a slight obsession with Florida. Well, LB said he doesn't want Florida to get boring which honestly it would..because he would rather continue to vacation there. He told me to wants to move to the Carolinas. Well, you see, I'd have to be uber close to the beach. They still get 60 days at the coast there. But, I don't know if it's ideal. I'm uber picky..and I just don't think I'd like it. I mean here's the thing. I like Connecticut..I do. But, I just hate winter. And the places I've been in Florida reminds me of here, but just with palm trees instead of pine trees and the beach and flat roads and the beautiful sun and warm weather. <333 So, I don't knoowww, it's still a while away..but its got me thinking...

And now I must go..I have work to do. Love how at 300pm I get work..couldn't just let us go home huh? Damnnn.

I hate money!

So, unfortunately after reviewing the little money I get now..I realize that Florida is a no-go. ='[ LB and I just cannot afford it..we're pretty broke as it is now. ((boo)) If I did put all my money away, I'd have about 80 a week to spend. Which is not a whole heck of a lot for the summer. There's car shows I still want to go too..and the beach...etc etc. ((grrsauce!))

So, then we thought about going to Canada. But then we'd have to get a passport, and the hotel would probably cost a bunch and gas and spending money. ((ugh)) So, we've decided to have a staycation! We're both still gonna take those days off, but we are gonna chill out and go to like Boston or New York, go to some waterparks, maybe an amusement park.

And Florida will happen during Thanksgiving, like it does every year. Then we won't have to worry about the car rental either because LB's mom will be down there before us, and will have already rented a car, and she'll just allow us to drive it after she leaves. We plan on staying a bit longer than usual this year..and she usually leaves the Monday after the long weekend. So, hopefully I can do that!

Anyhoodle, last night LB and I had a date night. He had driven by this Pirate Mini Golf place that was indoors and glow-in-the-dark awhile ago, so we went there to play..and it sucked! It wasn't dark enough, and you could totally tell the dude that owns it just took some old stuff from other mini golf places and sprayed it in glow-in-the-dark colors. 2 holes were absolutely impossible..which was kinda ridic. Took us like 10 mins to do it. After that, we headed up to the pike to go to Hooters ((all you can eat wings for 10.99)) and I got some shrimp and LB obvii got the wings. Watched a little bit of the Yanks game..LB thought it was funny to LIE to me about my future hubby being on ((Joba Chamberlain)). Then we left and drove arounddd, got some yummy Coldstone shakes and went back to his house and watched some tv.

This weekend his mom is gone..so we're just gonna chill out and do alot of little free and cheap things. We got into a little tiff yesterday because he said he wouldn't invite his friends over ((something he does everytime his mom leaves)) and I kept saying just do it. He was like well my mom doesn't want people over ((when has that stopped him before!)). The reason why he doesn't want to invite em over is because Leah ((LB's best friends gf)) still doesn't like me. She was the one that called me a whore on facebook after I started dating BP. I tried to be nice on Monday..she was playing volleyball and asked LB to come play. And yea I guess I was invited too. ((Hmpph)) So, at first we didn't wanna go but then Kyle ((this kid he used to work with when he worked at his autobody shop)) like begged us to go. So, we went, Leah was snotty, didn't even say hi to me..and on top of it, she was gigglin and saying shit and well being 19. So, I told him if he wanted his friends over, I would go and do something else because I'm not going to sit there and be miserable. And don't worry he talked to his best friends about it, and they said they would say something to her.

So, I haven't heard of anything..but ohhhh welll I guess. I tried to be nice. I showed her I could be friendly..but ehhh..whateve. I honestly cannot wait for LB and I to move out because then I don't have to deal with his friends and their drunk stupidity and their lack of kindness in NOT inviting certain hoeees to his house. Like um..his ex..or the girl that's liked him forever aka his best friends sister.

But, anyway that's my rant for today. Hope everyone has a nice weekend and a nice Memorial Day.

So I Have To Put Up With These Two..Alone..In Florida?? Well Then You Can Just Canoodle Together!

..haha. That was my response to the my crazii LB and Swan. Those two are a match made in friendship heaven. As you can tell, I'm totally stokkked for Florida. ((wait when aren't I?)) So stoked in fact that I actually cannot wait till mid August. =) Swan and I have been talking about what to do..so I've spent this super boring day looking up stuff. I've been writing it all down..so then the 3 of us can go over it and see what we wanna do..and make a good estimate of the amount of money we will need to bring. Which is more than usual...because I am 23, Swan's 22, and LB's 25. SO, bar hopping! ((Squeal, slightly))

I've gone to one bar down there and that was 2 yrs ago..last year I didn't go because Sondra was only 19.

But, I just had convo with LB...its honestly beennn sooo sloowww here. That I'm kinda nervous I might get laid-off ((intution much?)). I don't know..I just kinda feel like it mite come..I spend most of my days..sitting here online doing nothing! SOooo...I don't know. Vacays still on..but I think we mite not use Orbitz to book it. Eekkk.

ANyway..now my thought process is all off..damnit.

Movie Review: Bristol Boys

So, on Sunday LB, Swan and I watched Bristol Boys. You've probably never heard of it because it was released right to DVD, but you can rent it from Netflix or buy it at Best Buy or any major electronics store.

It is based on the true story of the rise and fall of suburan drug (marijuana) dealers who were arrested by the state police and DEA in 2001.

It features:

Thomas Guiry who plays Little Man. His creditables include: The Black Donnellys, Law and Order, Black Hawk Down, U-571, etc.

Will Janowitz who plays Corey. His creditables include: Sopranos ((Finn DeTrolio)), Law and Order, and he was the voice for Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories.

The cast also includes Adrian Martinez, Tammy Trull and Max Casella. It was written and directed by Brandon Davis who is an upcoming producer, editor and director.

Brandon David says the movie was inspired by his longtime friends who were arrested in the raid, Kevin Toolen and Miguel Rivera. It was also inspired by his own run in with the law. In all 21 people in surrounding towns were arrested back in 2001.

I give 4 out of 5 stars!

Now, I'm sure you guys are wondering what state this takes place in..and where Bristol is. Bristol is in Connecticut and is actually the town I live in. It was filmed both here and in Springfield Mass.

So, if anyone is interested in seeing my town (=p) then head on over to Netflix or Blockbuster to rent it..or you can find it at Target or Best Buy! Its def. rent worthy if you're interested in crime and drama. It has some good twists and turns and really opens your eyes to the drug problems in the US.

That is your movie review for today. =)

Weekend Recap: Bar-Hopping, A Wedding, And Some Corrado Loving!

Good morning everyone! Its Monday which is an ugh, groan, sigh all in itself. I actually have 57 things I need to discuss..so I'm probably going to post *two* posts today! I know, you're all very excited. ((Maybe not?lol)) Anway, onward to the weekend recap! =)

Friday
-I picked up Swan after work as usual. We cruised around, visited our fav. store Target and cruised around some more.
-At 9pm, we sat stealthily in front of LB's (loverbutt) workplace. ((Ok, not that stealthily..I own a bright red hatchback)).
-He came out..was surprised but excited..I looked fancy ((sorry no pics =()) and we followed him home and scooped him up.
-Then we headed up to my hood to get Trav ((he lives 6 houses down)).
-We all headed to Sporty's, our fav. old people bar.
-Watched some baseball and all had a drink.
-Lil Cuz texted me asking me to come down to Gag's to hang out with her and Marissa.
-After all the moans and groans from the boys, we finally got there..it was kinda deserted though, soo I said hi to Lil Cuz and then left.
-We went to the TA truck stop in Southington because of an emergency "I have to peee!" issue.
-Then we went to Sliders to get our grub on, but the kitchen was closed ((it was midnite))
-So we bounced and got some Taco Bell, and then it was time to head home.

Saturday
-I got up around 11am ((I'm uber lazy))
-Got ready as best as I could..then went to LB's house.
-We went to the mall, and I picked up a cute green tank topesque shirt.
-Went back to his house, I got all ready..we waited forever for Paul and Amanda..and then it was off to New Britain for a weddding!
-LB's, Paul's and Amanda's co-worker "Cookie" was getting married to Jose.
-At first, I was kinda miserable.
-I didn't know anyone..besides the people I came with, and the people were less than impressionable ((at first, honestly))
-LB and I kinda bickered about it, and after a 2 cigarette smoke break it was back inside.
-Then I got some Cap'n in me. ((that sounds so bad!))
-Had a shot of straight ((warm)) vodka..ick! with one of the groomsmen and everyone else.
-Danced retardly..and kept worrying about how we were gonna get home.
-Thankfully Amanda didn't really drink. =)
-But by the time we left, I was completely sober.
-We left around 1115.
-Took Amanda home first and had to go thru a D.U.I checkpoint.
-Hate cops in general..so I did get a little bit nervous..but I was fine, so I had nothing to worry about.
-After that, we went to Taco Bell..then the gas station for cigs, then Dunkin Donuts for meee.
-Then home to snuggle with my LB and go to bed. =D


Sunday
-Woke up around 830
-Watched some tv
-LB helped me settle all my finances.
-He paid off my VS Angel card.
-I wanted to smack him.
-But I know he's trying to help.
-So now I only have my Capitol One card to pay off and 200 I owe LB.
-Not tooo bad.
-Then we went to my house, so I could change.
-Was talking to my rents and they told me to go to the corporate Sprint store in Canton, because I wanted a new phone and I saw a deal online for the Samsung Rant for absolutely FREE!
-So we went down there, and ta-da they honor all online specials, promotions, etc!
-So, now I actually have a phone with a keyboard! =))) ((AND FOR FREE!!))
-Then it was back to his house, because Paul and him needed to pick some mulch for LBs mom.
-We all packed into Paul's truck and went to get it.
-The boys did all the mulch spreading and whatnot as I sat there with LB's doggie, Mulligan. ((Boston Terrier ftw!))
-His mom kept walking by saying, "Just gonna sit there and be lazy, huh Missy?"
-I just nodded yes.
-It's not that I don't want to help..but just because I'm you're sons gf, doesn't mean I should be doing yardwork..I have in the past..but I'm a guest at her house..soo she should nto expect me to do chores! ((again I have in the past))
-After that, LB and I went grocery shopping for his ma! ((seeee lol))
-She's the strangest eater ever, so she just kinda picks at stuff..so there's never any REAL meals in the house..and she only wanted us to spend 40..her stuff was about 20. 20 for real meals?! ((the thing is, they aren't poor! not even close!))
-So we ended up having to use 27 of our own money. We got some hot dogs, taco dinner kit, some sauce for pasta...and and lettuce!, croutons and FAT FREE italian dressing! For snacks we got some rice cakes, some bagel crisps, and I forgot what else..oh yea grapes!
-We are trying to eat healthy now-a-days..and it's kinda hard when we don't live together. =(
-After that, we chilled out and then went to get Swan.
-We went to Friday's for dinner because they had a $5 all sandwiches special. I got a BBQ chicken wrap which still counts.
-Then we went back to LB's to watch Bristol Boys ((movie review in the next post!!!))
-Played some Xbox, then it was time to bring Swan and myself home. =(

So, overall it was a pretty awesome weekend! Oh, and I must comment on the 13 wks status I had on my FB last week for Bon Don. (lol) No, I'm not preggo or anything like that!

I'm actually ((probably going)) on vacay to Florida!!!! with LB and Swan. I really really wanted to go to Cali to visit Bon Don and Desert Rat but right not now it's just not feasiable. It's almost double the price..=( But fear not! I will come down later this year or early next year! Promise!

So, yes Aug 13th-18th I will down in beautiful Clearwater, Florida with Swan and LB. LB's mamma dukes has a condo we can stay at for free, and doing the Orbitz package for 3 pple is like 250 per person for rental car and flight!

Also, we will be hittin up Orlando, to visit a friend from high school. And possibly Deefield Beach ((yes again!)) to visit Firefighter Fred and possibly Siqness.

But fear not ladiies, right when I come back, I will be saving up money for a Cali trip to see you guys and meet everyone..and partiii!!! =p

He Gives Me a Reason to Live. Him and All Those Stank Ass Hoes.

The above title is a quote from "Grandma's Boy." If you haven't seen Grandma's Boy, you totally should! It's about a video game tester, who smokes lots of weed, hangs out with his friends and creates a game which a "prodigy" at the gaming company he works for, rips off. Of course, there's a happy ending, he gets the game back.

Not into weed and video games? Is Nick Swardson delicious enough for you then? He certainly is for meeee.

Dear Mr. Swardson,
If you come across this blog, please know we can talk about that time at your comedy show where I may or may not have thrown my lacy pink bra at you. I know you were kinda creeped out, and even more so when you saw the note attached reading: "Please get into my pants immediately to save yourself from salvation." Oh, and don't worry about the guy next to me..he's just my boyfriend and he said I could have one free hump. He really didn't mean to have that "death stare" look like he was Darth Vader or something. Anyway, I promise it won't happen again, so please don't send your 6'6 black body guard to escort me out, I really enjoy your comedy, and I swear I'm not a sketchy character.

Thanks.

Ok, so that really didn't happen. (yet) I have yet to see Mr. Swardson. Apparently, he was supposed to come to UCONN and I didn't even know! I read a bulletin he posted on Myspace saying the show was cancelled. ((woo)) So now I diligently check to see if he's coming around. So, if and when he does, please donate to my bail money fund, because I may go to jail for trying to hump him.

AGAIN totally kidding. ((heheheh))
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I digress.

Last night, I went to Pig Out with Swan, Trav && my ex bestie, who know is my bestie again. We made up obvii. I missed her uber much and def. need her in my life. <33 Everything's like old times again. =D

Anyhoodle, we went to Pig Out because a waitress works there named Aimee who Swan's interested in. It was "Tip-A-Pig" night, which was hosted by the Renegade Bikers. They were raising money for the boobies! As one of the guys said. Trav is a new old edition in my life. He actually lives 5 houses down from me.

Swan, Trav and I all rode the same bus together. ((woot woot)) Rte. 9 ftw or lose, however you see fit. Anyway, Swan and I became close again because he was chilling with the veedub crew I was in. ((Absolut, lol)) Trav and Swan had always pretty much maintained their friendship so it was no surprise when Trav came last week and this week again.

It was nice to catch up with him..and it's nice to chill with the "hood crew" again. =) I also got the opportunity to go for a nice ride on the back of Trav's sexxi black motorcycle. ((crotchrocket)) I wore a helmet ((courrrsee!!)) and we drove around the block. As his 1/16 sister ((he called me that! lol)) it was cool. The hood crew is def. like family, and so I automatically become their sister again..they my brothers.

My brothers and the bestie ((again)) and of course loverbutt are the 5 most impt pple in my life. My brothers ((Swan Trav && Lil B)) are the three men that I know would always no matter what, would have my back. My bestie ((sister)) of course, no matter how much we fight, I know she will be another to always have my back. I couldn't ask for 4 better "family" members.

And of course loverbutt, he's my rock, my best friend..and the love of my life and I couldn't ask for any better than that.

Also, I cannot forget Bon Don, Calixta.Jive, or Desert Rat. These ladiies have become 3 of the best blogger friends a girl could have, and I hope to come out to Cali soon to meet all 3 of you! Thank you for all the words of encouragement and love! You guys rock my socks!

I'm happy as a clam. =)

Coffee=My Happy Pill.

This morning I was in a super irritated mood. I have no clue why! I think it had to do with the fact that whenever I hand in folders to my boss, she kinda gives em all back at once..so it kinda gets me all freaked out...especially if I mess em up. ((which isnt rare!)) But, its usually just little things..or mainly know, questions for the project managers who wrote em up.

Hm..what to talk about?! Well, loverbutt and myself made some yummy dinner last evening. We had some boneless pork chops..and he put breadcrumbs and some spices together and then fried it in a pan. It was uber yummy. I made some ((boxed, lmao)) mashed potatoes and rice.

Then we played some Xbox, Uno Rush=LOVE LOVE LOVE! And hung out and watched some Disney. ((yup we're avid watchers..heheheh)) Then I went home and to bed.

Tonight, he's inviting his friends over. Which I'm a little nervous about. I'm not really liked by them but not really hated either. They aren't happy with me is the best way to put it. Which is totally understandable. I did break loverbutts heart into a million pieces a while ago.

I don't think I ever admitted this to you guys. But, me and loverbutt were kinda on the fritz..and I had been hanging out with BP right when I got home from h20. Loverbutt couldn't reach me on my phone..soo he waited at my house ((something I HATE!)) and he asked me where I was and what I had been doing, and I kept screaming at him to get outta my yard. ((Something I cry about everytime I think about it)) He really wouldn't leave, so at 2am, BP drove the 20 mins to my house..and came and sat with me..till loverbutt got in his car and drove away.

Great, I'm crying now. It's something I HATE to think about. Something I hate to talk about. I absolutely HATE hurting people and knowing that he got into the car, and drove away crying his eyes out as I was hugging BP devastated me. Honestly. It was one of the worse things I've ever done to someone.

But at the time, my heart led me to that jackass, which ultimately caused me to have major karma, and get fucked and get my heart broken too. ((except bp was not kind about it.))

So, I'm trying my best to show and prove to loverbutt that I will never do that to him again. He's my best friend, my rock, my everything.

Yesterday I was walking thru the grocery store, when I heard this guy talking on his cell phone, and he said something along the line of, "If they come back to you, you're meant to be." I smiled to myself, knowing that was so true at the moment.

I cry tears of joy thinking about him && I..and I'm so glad I stepped up and let my heart do the talking..instead of letting my head talk to me..and tell me, but wait! You haven't dated around enough..who cares! I have all I need.

Thank you heart!

Grrrr.

Good morning everyone! So, I just got to work today, and immediately one of the project managers ((i work for a restoration company)) was like, "you need to get allstate out." I told him I couldn't because my office manager is out today and she needs to double check the estimates..which she hadn't done yet, since she's been out since last wednesday afternoon with pneumonia..and I wasn't here since you guys know, I no longer work Wednesdays.

So, now he's in a pissy mood about us being on red light, like it's my fault that my boss has been out. And like it's my fault that my boss made the rule that only she could check the estimates..and the project managers can NOT at all. They cannot tell us to send something out.

So, I left a comment on all the overdue estimates saying that my boss is out. hehehe.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, usually I do a weekend recap. But, instead I have really awesome news. I know Desert Rat, my west coast Auntie will be excited! I am back with the ex. [[[SAY WHAT!?!]]] I know, random right, since I just about 4 days ago, named the reasons why I couldn't be. Well, I did some hardxcore thinking..and decided that I really do love him, and I really am happy with him. =D I think a part of me, just wanted to deny my feelings because I felt as though I haven't really been out in the dating scene. I also think a part of me was scared to admit that me and him will be forever..and maybe realizing that I do want to be his wifey scared the crap outta me.

So, Friday night, I went over..and I don't remember exactly what I said, but it was something about being his girlfriend..and he was like that's not funny..and I said I wasn't joking! He was like ok you wanna go on a date? And I said no I want to be your girlfriend. He then asked me to his girlfriend. So, I've been with him all weekend. We had a lot of fun..and I'm very happy with my decision.

I know, he's still a lil timid..but I'm gonna show him how much I really love him. <33 He also told me I had to work for my engagement ring back and that he wants to ask me when I least expect it this time.

The only issue I'm having with him, is his lack of saying "I Love You" first. I dunno why..but you think he would, because he was so in love with me ((not trying to be cocky!)) and wanted to get back with me so bad. And now, I feel like I"m more into this than he is. I am a tad afraid that maybe I'm not all he wants anymore..and I hope he doesn't end it ever.

So, that's my awesome news! =) Happy Monday!

And the Winner Is...

My West Coast Mommy Bon Don has won my 200th post giveaway! Thru the very intense process on Random.org, you were all given a number (1-5) and it went in order how you left a comment. I pressed generate and ta-da! #2 was selected.

So, west coast mommy please email me with your addy so I can send you the wonderful Barnes and Nobles $25 giftcard.

And thanks to everyone who left me a comment, I promise another giveaway is in the works! And thank you again for taking the time to read my blog ((i know i biitch ALOT)) and leaving me you're kinda words! It really means alot..I hope to blog till my fingers can blog no more! ((ok maybe nott..but it was a nice thought!))

TGIF!

R.I.P. Chrissy

I just found out what happened. This girl I went to high school with, Chrissy, is what they call her was killed in a car accident yesterday. Death seems to follow me. To be God honest, I will dream about someone close to me dying, and the next day someone I know or knew is gone.

Yesterday, I had a blurred dream about getting into an accident, I was still half asleep but the thought process came. I quickly opened my eyes, squeezed them shut and let the thought go.

Swan was kinda freaking out in the car all day..tellin me that being a car still kinda scares him. Him and Lil B were involved in an accident where a woman came flying around a corner in her SUV in snowy weather and smashed into the front end of Lil B's car. Luckily, they weren't seriously injured, Lil B had a concussion and Swan had a broken leg.

But yesterday he kept saying the things he thought when he was driving, it didn't freak me though. We went on doing some errands and such. We were headed home and up Rt. 69 (I live off of it pretty much, as well as Swan does) as usual..I happened to look down at the clock and it read 420. I laughed commenting on the time..drove Swan home..and then myself. Arrived home at 427.

Then last night I found out Chrissy passed away. I didn't know how till I looked on Channel 3 news and found the article.

WOLCOTT, Conn. -- Police said a crash in Wolcott on Wednesday afternoon forced them to close a portion of Route 69.
Police said the crash occurred in the area of 955 Wolcott Road/Route 69 at about 4:25 p.m.
Police said a 2000 Dodge Neon was traveling north when the driver, 23-year-old Christina, of Bristol, lost control of the vehicle and crossed into the southbound lane.
A 1994 Chevy van driven by a man, identified as 56-year-old Roger , of Wolcott, in the southbound lane then struck the right side of the Neon.
Christina was killed in the crash.
The road was expected to be closed through rush hour, police said.
Police said the incident is under investigation.

**I took out the last names.**


I know its probably just coincidence. But, its still scary to know, that I travelled up that same road no less than 5 mins earlier..went home..and life went on. It saddens me to know she's gone now, she was a funny kinda person, always smiling. Although I didn't spend a lot of time getting to know her, I will remember her.

R.I.P Chrissy. You will be missed.


{{Another life lost, another last goodbye.}}

#200!!!

So, this is my 200th post!! ((woot woot)) I totally forgot that I won't be posting on Wednesdays anymore due to the fact that I don't work em anymore. =( For now though. Hopefully not forever.

Last night was the birthday bash..which turned into more of a birthday flop. Only Pa Lova, Lil B, J.Dubs and Lou showed up for Swan and I.. Thatskinnykid couldn't make out, and you know Coco's unreliable sooo. It was an okay time..I spent most of it quiet due to the fact that J.Dubs and Pa Lova are pretty much best friends now. A bunch of times, PA Lova asked me what's wrong or commented on how quiet I've been lately.

I didn't wanna talk to her in public about it..so I just said, "Yeah I know." ((Clever I know)) J.Dubs made it a point ((for the one millionth time)) to tell everyone how excited she is to go to PA the first week of June with PA Lova and Lil B. Then they started talking about it right in front of Swan and I! ((thanks guys))

So unfortunately I think my friendship with PA Lova is pretty much over, she isn't really there as a friend anymore.

In happier news..I've decided to take on a second job. Yes, that's right, a little part-time retail job. For two reasons.

Reason #1-I need more money. I need to pay off my credit card/VS card.
Reason#2- I want to take the EMT-B class ((Emt basic)) and it is $700.00! ((holy crap, right!)) It's $600.00 for the class with a $100.00 deposit. But, you get all your textbooks and supplies. Not to mention you have to pay out of pocket for two of the big exams. ((sighh))

I wanted to do something in the medical field. But, nursing is way too much work with not enough time. You have to do in a certian amount of time..and I just cannot do that due to work. I seriously have been contiplating ((sp?)) selling Charlie, and buying something I can actually afford and have a ton of money left over each week.

Then, I smacked myself. Charlie's my baby! No way, no how will I sell him! So, now I am going to take the EMT-B and get certified for that..and then sign up for Paramedic classes at a community college. ((YAY!))

This is something I need/want to do..and I'm gonna do it. No if ands or butts. =)

Oh, and I also went out with that guy I met on Match. com again. We went to the movies, Tuesday night and saw the X-Men Wolverine one. Liev Schriber is sooo effin hawwwwttt. ((mmmm hump me!)) So, that went pretty well. And last night, I went and stopped by his house before Swan and I went to our bday bash..and played with Raven and just chilled out. So, who knows what will happen there!

Now, its on to pick up a second job. =)

Almost to 200!!!

200th Post Giveaway!!!!!

That's right. My very first giveaway! I will be hitting 200 posts tomorrow, but to give you guys some time, I will pick a winner on Friday!!! You have until Thursday night at 11:59EST. ((haha, just kidding))

I will be giving away a $25.00 Barnes and Nobles giftcard!!!! A winner will be randomly chosen Friday. To be eligiable for this drawing you must either:

A) Be following me already and post a comment on this post.

-or-

B) Add yourself to my lovely group of followers and post a comment on this post.

Everyone who comments will be entered only once, so you don't need to go comment crazy. ((Although if you want to, that's fine too!))

Thank you all for reading my blog and leaving me love. Without you guys, I wouldn't be maintaining this blog. So, thank you again for your kind words, truths, etc. It means a lotttttt to me!!!

THANK YOU!!!!

First, I'd like to thank all of you for the birthday wishes. THANK YOU!!! I enjoyed my evening last night, with my two bestest friend the ex and J. Wilt! We drove around for a bit, and ended up going to Tim Horton's because they now have a Coldstone inside! ((Tim Horton's=coffee shop, Coldstone=amazing ice cream!)) J. Wilt wanted to try the Cake n Shake, ((it's this amazingly addictive shake that tastes just like a birthday cake.)) so the inside was closed, but the drive thru still served it! Which is super exciting because it's a 24 hr drive thru..so does that mean at 3am I could get one of those??! ((lol))

Anyhoodle. The ex and I didn't get one because we already had ours about 1/2 an hr earlier. So we decided to go to Sporty's. J. Wilt is only 18 ((i seriously thought he was 19)) but they allow 18+ because it's a pub technically. He absolutely just cannot drink. So I had a Cap'n'Coke ((my usual)) and we sat down and played the touch screen bar games. ((I'm addicted to funky monkey lol)). We played those for a while, and then around 1145 we finally left. We all got into the car..I coughed and threw up a little bit. ((gross I know!!!!!!!!)) But I think it was mostly the phlem from that shake. And well, that set me off, opened the door and puked like no other! ((Obvii I wasn't drunk!)) I think it was just the combo of the shake, the cap'n and the glass of water I chugged down before we left. I'm ok now..I still feel a little ick though, but I think that's due to the fact everyone in the office is sick! ((hopefully not with swine flu.))

Then it was home and to bed. Oh how I can't wait to sleep in tomorrow. =D Even though I don't get paid for it. =(

Oh, and Pa Lova finally did say happy birthday. I ended up picking up Swan because his ex or whatever she is..didn't wanna drive him home soo he walked to the center of the next town and found a bmx bike for Lil B so we dropped it off..and I said, "Hey, did you forget about something today?" She told me Happy Birthday and also said she's usually one of the last people to wish someone happy birthday.

And Desert Rat wanted to know why I'm not with the ex. She is the lovely sister of my West Coast Mommy Bon Don , which would make her my West Coast Auntie!! =) So that you don't have to read back..I'll tell ya here in this post.

As most of you know, the ex and I had dated for about 3 1/2 yrs. In that time, he asked me to marry him. I said yes of course and we were happy and content up until the last year of our relationship. He started palying video games non-stop ((we're talking whole afternoons and evenings of me in the living room watching Reba or whatever pretty much crying because he was ignoring me)) and getting him to go out was like pulling teeth. We ended up breaking up a couple of times..but he would change, so I would take him back. Then after month, he was back to the way he was, till I couldn't stand it and broke it completely off.

Now-a-days, he rarely plays video games and goes out alot. I love him..but I unfortunately just do not have the same feelings for him as I once did. I've tried..but personally, I just don't feel the same. Alot of my friends are telling me that I'm letting a good guy go, and yes I know, but I can't make my heart do things it won't. He's a great guy and he will meet a great girl..I know he will. It's not that I think of the future and I'm scared to take the plunge with him again, it's just that I don't have legit feelings, like I only have friend feelings. He finally decided he is in fact ok with just being my friend..I told him I wasn't pushing him to be, I understand it hurts, but if he wants to he can be. So, now we're pretty great friends..and he def. helps me out when I need it the most. He's amazing guy and he's single ladddies!!! so you know, let me know if you maybe want to contact him or something..lol. =)

Ummm.

I really cannot believe this. Pa Lova still has not told me Happy Birthday! I know it's almost a silly thing to be upset about..but when you're "supposed" best friend doesn't even say it..it really hurts. I've been dropping hints all day. Like, wow I really don't wanna be work. She replys back, I'd just like to even have a job. When I initially texted her today, she started biitchin about how Lil B isn't paying for her tattoo anymore ((which means she cant get it)) because he had to spend more money buying a car then was initially thought.

I even went as far as to say that I was enjoying cake! She said, I just had some Ben and Jerrys. Like HELLO. Are you gonna say it? Or do I have to actually go and say, hey it's my birthday!

I don't know, it makes me uber sad. =[[ Everyone else said Happy Birthday to me on Facebook..I know she probably saw it because she was on Fb..but Idk. It bums me out uber much. =(

It's My Birthday!!!!!!!!!!

So, today I am 23 yrs old. In 18 mins, (948am) I will have crawled out of my mother's womb and into the light, wondering why hospitals are sooo bright and kinda smelly and why I'm wrapped up like someone should open me like a damn christmas present. Twenty-three ago, I weighed an astounding 5 lbs 4oz. (which now a days is a premature weight) I rocked the pink hat and under it was the blackest hair a little girl should never have, and the darkest eyes. And judging from my baby picture..I was not photogentic back then either. But, here I am. (woot woot).

Anyways, I've gotten 5 happy birthdays so far. The first one came from the ex at two mins after midnite, followed by another ex of mine (woodhall) who has def. grown up over the past couple of years, followed by lil cuz, j.dubs on facebook, and now another ex (fanoff). See, I'm a good friend of my exs. I have no clue why. I think it's because I was never really meant to date em, but instead enjoy them as friends. But hey, whoever said exs can't be friends, obvii doesn't know that I'm friends with a good chunk of em.

Oh, on to the weekend recap:

Friday
-after work I ended up picking up Kerri
-we cruised around most of the night, hitting up the mall, and Kohls.
-around 9pm, I dropped her off because she was annoying the living crap outta me.
-the only thing she kept saying everytime the rain cleared for like 20 mins was, "look it's clearing up!"
-which was code for: take me to the damn pike.
-I told her numerous time I did not want to go. I can't afford the gas anymore ((not that I really could before)), but she never helps me out there..and plus she woulda wanted me to go there, come all the way back home ((20 mins drive)), pick up her bf at work and go back out.
-I couldn't handle it..so I dropped her off.
-Then I picked up Swan
-We drove out to Wally World in Wallingford (the only 24 hr one in CT)
-I didn't mind that because a) we were bored b) he gives me gas money
-then it was on to the exs house, we just watched some Disney Channel, Camp Rock was on!!
-then home and to bed.

Saturday
-I slept in till noon. (for once)
-Then the ex and I hit up the outlets and stopped into Eddie Bauer to visit my friend thatskinnykid.
-Then it was home to drop him off..
-Then I ended up going out with this guy I met on match.com (lol)
-He lives about 10 mins away, which isn't bad.
-We took his two doggies Rook (half black lab/half pitbull) and Raven(black lab) for a hike
-We walked along this path behind a dam, and the pups were able to run free.
-I learned Rook liked the water alot, when he sat down in a puddle and dunked his head in.
-Then we went back to his house, dropped the pups off and went to my house, so I could change real quick
-Then we went to dinner at Ninety-Nine, then pretty much drove around all night talking.
-He was gentleman, and he's very hard working and driven. Def. all pluses!
-Then I went home and to bed.

Sunday
-I woke up around 10am
-Went downstairs and had some cake and got my birthday card (its easier to do it on the weekend, lol)
-Then I was off to pick up J.Wilt and the ex.
-We caught the 3:15 in Brewster and headed into NYC!
-We walked around, showing J.Wilt the sights because he hasn't really been to NYC
-Most things were closed by 7 and my venture to try and find Coco a Lacoste polo ended horribly (yes we are talking again, but we are now on the same page, just friends...)
-We headed home on the 848 and everyone was home by 1130 including me.

While the weekend wasn't the most eventful, it was def. a ton of fun! I haven't (unfortunately) talked to PA Lova since Friday. I mean I love the girl, but I honestly feel like shitt alot of the time.

Oh, and wow, just got a text from the now ex-bestie, saying Happy 23rd Bday. =) Aww. That was honestly sweeet. But she's done alot of stuff to me still to make me want to go back to beinfg her friend. I just cannot stand people who only care about 2 things. Yes, I understand you love you're bf, but remember you have friends too. My friends told me that when I had my first boyfrrriend and ever since I've tried to be faithful to my friends and treat them with respect.

I don't really have anything planned tonight. I told Coco, I wanted to come watch Grandma's Boy with him and just chill out and that would make my night. So, we will see what happens. But just as friends, I assure you! He said he doesn't think we would be compatible or that I would enjoy his lifestyle if we chilled more, and I agree. Back when I met him, I listed a million reasons (ok not that many) why I could not date him. And yea, guess they hold true. He has changed a bit though, but being his friend only makes it easier and I'm happy with the decision. =)

Quick post: Like this day couldn't get any worsee...I happened to go on the Vortex per usual. I looked in the Absolut forum and they're all talking about going to Dubs on the Beach. Which as you all know, everyone BUT me in our little group we hang out was invited. (including this one kid who JUST started coming to the gtgs!!!!) I decided to ask PA Lova if she was going. She said yes, you going? I said nope, I was never even invited. She was like well J.Dubs just started planning it 2 days ago. C'mon everyone on the thread is talking about it..she invited 12 pple. And I'm not one of them. And of course PA Lova just says..O..Well I don't know what thats all about. Thats it. No, I'll ask J.Dubs whats up. Nope, nada. She probably doesn't even care. Awesome. I've done everything for that girl. Listened to her biitch all weeekend..let her borrow shittt..consoled her when Lil B and her got into a fight. And I get nothing in return.

So, FML, I just wanna move. Meet new people that respect me. And don't make me feel like utter shit 24/7.

The Truth About Coco.

Disclaimer: This is a gonna be a loooong post. I do apologize, because most of my posts are super long..and I appreciate you guys for taking the time to read it!

It was one of those late August days that was perfect. The morning breeze felt amazing..and the feeling of the sand between my toes was already well embedded in my brain, although we were standing at a McDonald's in Canton, no where near the beach.

I was riding with J.Dubs ((this was when we were cool.)) and Spinney and Lou were riding together in Spinneys car. ((when they were cool.)) I was told we were going to meet up with this kid, Coco who owned a beautiful MK4 GTI in Pearl Magic Black. He pulled in, with some non dubbers, and an Audi. On our way we went.

We finally got to the beach about an hour and a half later, for the Soco (Southern CT Dubbers) BBQ..and J.Dubs, Lou, Spinney and I set up our little camping chairs under the picnic area, had a couple Smirnoffs and talked. I hadn't really gotten a good look at Coco when he had arrived at Mickey D's but now he was catching my eye because he had walked thru some mud and his feet were disgusting. I watched him pull of his mandles and inspect his feet.

I gave him the once over and decided he was someone I could have in my life. Then it was off the beach, where J.Dubs and I jumped into the water like some crazies. I vaguely remember getting out..and having a little insecurity because here came Coco and his group walking down towards the beach as we were heading back. I dried off..and went to change..and just chilled out. At the time BP ((whom I knew but not so well)) had shone up and he was looking pretty down. I bummed a cig...we kinda talked..and then we left. We all ended up going to Friendly's.

Coco wasn't really on my mind till sometime during the next week. He posted on the volkswagen forums aka VwVortex. I decided to go for it and I PMed him. I told him how I liked his car, and stealithy slid in how I cute I thought he was. We started texting and talking..and before long we had a date planned to go and see House Bunny.

We saw the movie..I made fun of him for actually not minding seeing it..some making out insued..and that was about it. Over the course of the next couple of weeks, more making out insued..a late night Bury visit to see him and his friend Ryan..and eventually an okay day at a bbq.

It was a nice afternoon..Lil Cuz and I ventured off to the boonies to go to a Barn BBQ ((veedub thing obvii)) and Coco and his friends showed up. It was the first and pretty much last time..we were ever seen together holding hands in public. Lil Cuz and I ended up leaving..a tad buzzed..stopped at a Mickey D's and Coco had called to say that his boii was interested in my cuz. ((Nothing ever came outta that btw.))

I still saw Coco every Thursday night, at the Canton gtgs that I had started going too. Lil Cuz and BP always came with too. Eventually, it was time to go to H20..and I left..came back..and well you all know..I started dating BP.

I was talking to Coco one day online via AIM bout something..and I said something like, I don't know if my boyfriend would be cool with that. Flipping out insued from him. He called me a "groupie" and a "follower" and wrote a pretty shitty thing on his facebook wall that stayed up there for a whole 5 mins.

But, still we got over the hump and continued talking..and on one rare occasion we all chilled together. I found out that unfortunately Coco and BP did not get along well. Coco began to bash BP even more..texting me stuff with meanings only I would notice..but still our friendship ((or whatever, association might be a better word)) continued.

About 2 weeks after BP and I started dating..Coco told me he had a girlfriend. She went to some college ((either he failed to tell me the name or I forgot)) and he said he rarely saw her because she was always busy doing schoolwork. She never wrote on his facebook..he never talked about her..she was never in any pics..and "magically" two days after BP broke up with me and I let Coco know..he replys back: "Wow, thats crazy, Simeone ((thats what he named her, funny how his best chick friend has that last name?!)) and I broke up too!"

Coco and I then sorta talked, sorta didn't. I wouldn't talk to him for like 3 days and then I'd get a random "Ballin" text message which would usually mean, hey you, pay attention to me. It continued on like that..until I finally called him once and Swan, him and I all went out to the Green Tea bar in the Bury. ((not the actual town name..haha)) We chilled and talked..and I didn't see Coco again till Swan, Him, Colin and I all went to KC Dubliner. I was quite surprised when he told me that Colin was coming, for the simple fact that about 2 mnths ago he told me that he doesn't chill with me on the weekends because he's usually with his friends..and I don't "run" in the same circle as them, because they're all rich spoiled kids who drink heavily. ((the rich//spoiled kid part I put in their..he didn't say that..lol))

About a week later, I ended up going to Cocos new place for the first time. ((he lives in a duplex with 4 other pple.)) We chilled out and watched a movie. I was sick..so he didn't really wanna cuddle and he apologized when I left.

A week later ((last week)) I went over on Friday and we fooled around. Then on Sunday when we finally did the deed. Then he ended up coming to the get together on Tuesday. We texted back and forth all day most days for the past two weeks. I invited him to Swan and I's birthday bash this upcoming Wednesday..and he said he would def. go. Something Coco usually would not say. And HE invited ME to the movies ((ok well was gonna)) for tonite? I'm sure his roomies are all going.. And yea..thats about it.

I have yet to talk to him today..and I honestly probably won't for a couple days. Then I'll get the usual, "Ballin" text message. And everything will be back to normal.

I don't know..honestly. I'm confusssed! I was talking to the ex last night ((I know worst person to talk to..but he called and heard I was upset)) and the ex was like, maybe he honestly just wants to be friends with you. Which I would understand. But Coco has his friends..I'm in a total different catergory. I said he doesn't need me as a friend though..he has plenty of friends..and if I'm just a piece of ass..then why does he feel the need to continue to do things with me. Coco isn't really the type to chill with giirls like he has been with me. The ex then said it doesn't matter if he needs you as a friend..he wants you as a friend though. And I said well who the hell is gonna be friends with someone they don't need. He's not benefiting anything by being my friend.

SO, HELP!!!!!!!!! I have no clue what too do. >.<

LEMME KNOW! Love you all. Thanks. =)

"Did You Just Squeeze Your Chocolate Milk In Hopes It Was An Odd Voo-doo Doll?"

SO. I did not go to Cocos last night. [[as I figured.]] Instead, we got into an arguement via text message. [[ghey!]] He kept dancing around if he wanted me to come over or not. I decided I couldn't stand the way he was anymore..so I told him we shouldn't talk. He kept asking why. I told him he knew, it didn't matter. He said he didn't. So, I told him, listen I still like you. I always pretty much have. The following occured:

Him: "You told me sunday it was good to be just friends."
Me: "I know..but idk I haven't stopped liking you.."
Me: "So idk..sry."
Him: "No need to apologize I don't wanna lead you on."
Me: "I know but you already have..practically since I met you."
Him: "How so? Its not like I told you I liked you, just to hook up."
Me: "True...I guess, Idk."
Him: "I just don't wanna be thought as an a hole."
Me: "You shoulda been clear on what you wanted then..you never said thats all you wanted. But I'm out with my friend now. Lata."
Him: "I was clear, I said I didn't wanna date ((no he never did!)) and you bug out cause I'm busy and tired during the week."
Me: "Yea I know..I don't know..((way to be weird me.)) I didn't wanna like you again bc of last time.."
Him: "Whatever this is stupid. How we could we ever date? Theres already too much drama."
Me: "There isn't drama though. I'm not trying to make it that way..you just dance around shit."
Him: "I don't dance around, I've made everything clear."
Me: " If you made it clear I wouldn't chill and I wouldn't still talk to you." ((clearly cause I just didnt wanna be used for hooking up...))
Him: "Why though? You can't be my friend..this is retarded I'm glad I didn't invite you to go to the movies tomorrow."
Him: "I don't think we should hang out anymore, just be civil at car meets."
Me: "Y would you invite me to the movies, if you say I'm just a friend?

----Nothing else after that. Gay. So, ya know what I'm done. He does dance around stuff..and he has acted different. I'm sorry but if you just wanna "hook up" with someone, you don't sit there and talk to them all day everyday, say you'll go to their birthday, say you were gonna invite me to the movieess...but then bascially tell me you just enjoy hooking up with me.

I'm gonna write another post..explaining how much he's changed and I need everyones advice pleaseee. =)