Sometimes...

I just wanna smack LB. As you all know, Leah and I do not get along. As I have stated before she called me a whore on my facebook wall after I started dating BP, and her and LB's best friend's ((Leahs bf)) sister wrote me nasty messages on facebook. I attempted to play volleyball with her last week, and I left upset because the whole time I was met with stares, giggles and inside jokes.

But no, LB still presses the issue. Yes, I know that everyone else except her don't mind me. But I know Leah will steal Amanda ((LB's other best friends gf)) away and sit in the corner giggling and staring. And the boiis will be playing Wii or drinking together. He thinks I don't know this..he thinks I'm just assuming things, thinks I'm making it worse than it is. I wouldn't mind going if we weren't gonna be stuck in Leah and LB's best friends tiny apartment all night long consuming alcohol. ((Well, probably not me, only because I really have been drinkin more than I wanna. Well more times a week than I wanna.)) I know he wants to see his best friends and spend time with them, but until I feel that Leah won't verbally abuse me or stare at me or say shit..then I want nothing to do with her. LB claims shes not like that..and he defends her like crazy because she helped him during a hard time. ((obvii when I broke his heart))

I'm just tired of feeling guilty and bratty, and like I only want it my way because it's no good any other way. That's not true! It's not like we are going to a party or out somewhere, we are all gonna be in their tiny apartment. I apologize in advance for being screwed over by almost every chick friend I've ever had. ((except Amy..)) I have bad trust issues and I always think everyone is talking about me because I was picked on in middle school so bad. I'm sorry that Absolut doesn't make me feel any better nor that PA Lova does either. I'm sorry the chick practically used to me so she didn't have to be alone at car shows.

I'm just sick of getting mistreated by people and feeling like I have to be forced into trying to amend things before I'm ready. Cause I'm sorry but Leah is a biitch. She was good friends with her bfs sis and that went haywire...and I know a lot of her friendships went downhill..I'm not sure why..but Leah can be pretty bitchy. If he wants to go over there, that's fine..but I could care less to give up my ability to be happy.

Ok, I feel better. Sorry for ranting. I'm just sick of LB making me feel like shit and that its all my fault.