Coffee=My Happy Pill.

This morning I was in a super irritated mood. I have no clue why! I think it had to do with the fact that whenever I hand in folders to my boss, she kinda gives em all back at once..so it kinda gets me all freaked out...especially if I mess em up. ((which isnt rare!)) But, its usually just little things..or mainly know, questions for the project managers who wrote em up.

Hm..what to talk about?! Well, loverbutt and myself made some yummy dinner last evening. We had some boneless pork chops..and he put breadcrumbs and some spices together and then fried it in a pan. It was uber yummy. I made some ((boxed, lmao)) mashed potatoes and rice.

Then we played some Xbox, Uno Rush=LOVE LOVE LOVE! And hung out and watched some Disney. ((yup we're avid watchers..heheheh)) Then I went home and to bed.

Tonight, he's inviting his friends over. Which I'm a little nervous about. I'm not really liked by them but not really hated either. They aren't happy with me is the best way to put it. Which is totally understandable. I did break loverbutts heart into a million pieces a while ago.

I don't think I ever admitted this to you guys. But, me and loverbutt were kinda on the fritz..and I had been hanging out with BP right when I got home from h20. Loverbutt couldn't reach me on my phone..soo he waited at my house ((something I HATE!)) and he asked me where I was and what I had been doing, and I kept screaming at him to get outta my yard. ((Something I cry about everytime I think about it)) He really wouldn't leave, so at 2am, BP drove the 20 mins to my house..and came and sat with me..till loverbutt got in his car and drove away.

Great, I'm crying now. It's something I HATE to think about. Something I hate to talk about. I absolutely HATE hurting people and knowing that he got into the car, and drove away crying his eyes out as I was hugging BP devastated me. Honestly. It was one of the worse things I've ever done to someone.

But at the time, my heart led me to that jackass, which ultimately caused me to have major karma, and get fucked and get my heart broken too. ((except bp was not kind about it.))

So, I'm trying my best to show and prove to loverbutt that I will never do that to him again. He's my best friend, my rock, my everything.

Yesterday I was walking thru the grocery store, when I heard this guy talking on his cell phone, and he said something along the line of, "If they come back to you, you're meant to be." I smiled to myself, knowing that was so true at the moment.

I cry tears of joy thinking about him && I..and I'm so glad I stepped up and let my heart do the talking..instead of letting my head talk to me..and tell me, but wait! You haven't dated around enough..who cares! I have all I need.

Thank you heart!