So, theres one week till Thanksgiving! Now, I am super stoked because of the fact that I have not been home in two years for it. I was in Florida, only for the week, but I'd leave Thanksgiving morning, board the plane, get off the plane, go to the ONLY grocery store thats open, buy some ghetto Thanksgiving meal, eat and chill. With my ex and his mom. Now trust me I'm NOT complaining about being in FLORIDA for the week. I just missed everything my mommy made, and my memere's hilarious stories.
It's gonna be a little weird not boarding the plane next week to be honest. And not realize, hey in a couple of days, I'll be sitting on the beautiful Tampa Bay inlet at a bar called Hurrican Breeze, watching the sun set with a fruity drink in my hand. Oh Florida. You and your..ahhh. Sorry. I have a terrible obsession. God, Jimmy Buffett! Way to live the "feet in the water, the sun on my back" lifestyle you so advantly (am i even using this word correctly?!) emphasize in every single one of your amazing books about the sea life.
Anyway. I'm stoked for Thanksgiving. =D
So, I have a million and one things I want to write about. First off, well I'm pretty sure I had a miscarriage. (I know a little too much FYI for the public! But I'm in an open mood today soo. Yea. I felt like all icky for the last two weeks, then slowly the cramps, back aches, and feelings of nauceousness came. (I'm not gonna get all into it, cause that'd be gross, but my "time of the month" has been outta whack forever so I know somethings up). Anyway, so yeah, pretty sure I am. It's happened to me one other time when I was with the ex. I called my best friend in Florida who's a EMT and he told me that I did cause of the symptoms I described to him..and I was at about the same period of time I was last time so. I'm ok. In my opinion. (Don't yell at me!) And yes I know I should have been using protection, we do now thanks to this scare. (He's only 19, I know I could handle it but him, not so much..)
Yeah, so thats been on my mind, plus I can't even tell my best friend Cheryl cause all she's gonna do is tell me that mostly likely I am not nor have I ever. And I'll tell you the odd reason why she claims that, and I know this for a fact, because she's jealous. (I know odd right!) Yup, jealous. She's 19 days younger then me..which means she's 22. And she wants a baby and family and hubby so bad, she's kinda going desperate. I mean don't get me wrong, I absolutely loooove my best friend. But some of the weird decisions she's made, some very unsafe ones...like she met a 35 yr old man playing a video game on the computer, and drove all by herself, to Canada! and stayed in his home with him. I'm soorrry but that's effin creepy. (hardcore!) And every since then..she has met guys on the video game she plays and talked to them. Like this army boy from Cali..who she wanted to have children with and marry already! And now theres another one, a guy from Long Island (about a 2 hr drive) that she really likes and probably will tell me she already loves.
Now I love the girl to death, but sometimes I just wanna smack her and go what the hell are you doing?! Stop looking so hard and stop forcing yourself to love every man who shows interest in you..cause its not healthy. For her or the guy. So, that's my take on that. Ahh I feel better to vent that out.
Anyway, in other news..so yesterday I got my "time of the month" as I stated previously. Well the internet was still not on, so I began drawing. And what I drew freaked me out. I drew an angel, standing on a cloud, in front of the gates of heaven. Her hair was long and black and her back was to me. On her shirt it said heaven waits. And on the golden gates I drew, I put God Grant Me Serenity. And under the whole picture I put Dream On. You never know what could be on the other side. Or something like that. Freaked me out! I showed Erik, cause we were kinda on a strange kick, cause he got BK last nite at the mall and his total was $6.66. Yeah, creepy. (In my opinion!) So I showed him and we got worried, then we thought about more and wondered if it was my subconscious telling me that possibly there was an unborn child that had passed on.
But what was even freakier was when we were on the way home from the mall...there was an accident, so I told him to get off the next exit and we got on the highway just past the accident, so we were looking and like 3 cars were smashed up and they blocked the whole highway..and we just looked at each other and thought, that could have been us. We were about to leave the mall which would have put us in the path for that, when I decided to go to this comic store/novelty store..and we looked around there for a little. But, its just freaky...cause I'm almost certain that could have been us.
So, I think that about covers the random blah coming outta my mouth.. the bestie hasn't written back to my texts soo she's probably mad at me for something. Oh well. True, we haven't really talked in a while. But, the phone works both ways, ya know!
Back to work. =D
Rambleeed by Nickie. at 11/20/2008 10:59:00 AM