Because it's Awesomesauce!

So. I'm sitting hurr, bored of course. It's friday, Halloween, and sub day. Which makes for a verrry lazy day. Which honestly, is fine by me. So, forgot to mention in my previous blog...two slightly important things. Ok, one is very major, I suppose.

Last night, Erik and I went to the Halloween store as I stated previously. Well, it was quite busy and the very nice black gentleman (like my age) was talking to this chick I believe (i was on the hunt for fishnets) and Erik supposedly walked threw their conversation and like he always does, he says sorry and excuse me. No biggie. It's how he was raised which my mother loves by the way. So, anyway, we're leaving and he ends up holding open the door for the same guy. And the guy says thank you very much..and then all of a sudden goes hey! man, what's your name? Erik replies, "Erik." And the guy's like, "my name is Colby. I didn't think there was many of us left?"(referring to the uber scare gentleman of the world, the chivalirous type, as my mother would call em) Then Colby looks at me and says, "If this is you're boyfriend, you're very lucky to have him and you better never leave him." And that was that. =) Yes, there are still men out there like that.

My best friend Fred from Florida is like that too. Came and picked me up at 200am as promised when I got there, drove the 45 mins back to his town, refused gas money from me, got Sondra and I's bags outta the car (he put em in too) and made sure to check in our hotel room first to see if there was any baddies in there. SO! Women of the world. THEY DO EXIST!

Ok. So, now on the most important topic EVER! In Spring of 2011, Erik and I are MOVING TO FLORIDA!!!!! =) Which gives us about two years to get everything settled. Find jobs, an apartment, etc. Finally, my dream can come true. =) And if for someone reason Erik and I aren't together, I'm gonna figure it all out and probably move down myself. I just love southern Florida. That's where I would be headed. Deerfield Beach, Coral Springs, Boca Raton..bascially anywhere in that general area will be home. I've have a pretty sickening obsession with Florida that most people don't know about.

Like, hm. Let's start with the fact that at some point of the year, I believe early spring, when it's just warm enough, there's a certain spot where the sun sits in the afternoon when I'm coming down the hill from my house that makes me feel like I'm in Florida. The sun is just so bright and warm. (I told you it was sickening!) Hm, or how about like last weekend, when I was sitting around on Sunday afternoon and I was reading a "Salty Piece of Land," by Jimmy Buffett and the sun was shining brightly into my room cause my mom opened the blinds all the way to save oil..and I was laying there and I imagined I was in Florida.

I told you I was obsessed! It's kinda sick. I've known I've always been obsessed with the ocean and the beach, but I think that came from the fact that ever since I was three, my parents have bringing me to Ocean City, Maryland. But, Florida, have no clue how that happened. I think it was cause I had gone to Florida with Dan and his mom and actually went somewhere that wasn't an overcommercialized place. I saw the true beauty of Florida, the first time I had gone to Floridian beach, and I fell in love. Then I met Fred, Jimmy, and Brian on Xbox and started talking to them. And Fred and I grew closer and closer. Then, I made a joking comment to Sondra from Pennsylvania, that we should go. And we made it happen. And now I want to go back sooo bad. Live there, work there, just be there. I know, I'm a dork. But this is something I'm completely passionate about. =)

I'll leave you with this quote, straight from A Salty Piece of Land, Jimmy Buffet. This describes my being perfectly. I think I may even get a portion of it tattooed. =)

"There are no words to the song of the ocean, but the message is and always has been simple: not to forget where we came from. The melody is locked in the water that composes much of what we are. Most humans tend to ignore the song, but not all. But be warned: it is a wandering song carried by the winds and the currents. It can turn you into a piece of driftwood that washes up on shore after shore, but one day, when you find the place that is meant to be, you will take root."

Happy Halloween!!!

Yay!! Today is finally Halloween. =) I absolutely have grown to love Halloween. For many reasons. First, I love love dressing up now that I'm older. I think it's the fact that they have some really cute (and slutty) costumes out there. I this year am going as a firefighter. =) I'm not sure why I chose that costume. Probably cause it was the least slutty. (Hi, ok I'm gonna be full of myself..I know I have a nice ass but it can stay under my costume, thanks! haha) And it was cute. I'll post pics tomorrow or probably monday when I actually sit down at the computer. Anywho, my bestest friend Cheryl is going as a gangster. She has some stuff at home she can use sooo. She's gonna look tooo cute. <33 And Erik's going as the Deuce from Hollywood Undead. They're a band. I've grown to like their funky style. =)

Plus, I love when little kids dress up. They are sooo cute. Like one of my bosses' is here with his son..and his son is like two and he's dressed as a giants football player with black lines under his eyes. So freaking cute. =)

Anywho. I have a million thoughts going thru my mind right now. At the current moment, I'm talking to my little brother on AIM, trying to get him to come to the halloween party I'm going to tonite. But of course, he's being stubborn. Well, actually he just said he'd come but without a costume! What fun is that. Don't worry we'll (me and cheryl) will think of something to do! I don't know, ever since my brother has moved out, I feel like I need to talk to him or see him and he's just not having it. I think he's really trying to assert his independence. He didn't even move far. Just to Central Connecticut State, which is like 30 mins from my house. (haha)

So, last night I picked up Erik. ♥ And we went to the Halloween store and got my costume and Wal-mart and got his stuff for his costume. And on the way to Wal-mart I felt that he was upset. I felt his emotions go up and down in the form of tingling in my arms. It was really weird. And I could pinpoint EXACTLY what was wrong. Like we were at Wal-mart and their were alot of people and I could start to feel his stress level rise as we walked thru the crowds. And I said, "you're bothered by the large group of people, aren't you?" And he just looked at me like I was crazzzzy. It continued on for a good chunk of the night. I pinpointed the most random things that were bothering. And felt his stress level go down everytime I would hold his hand or touch his leg while we were driving.

Now. I ask. Who has ever felt that with someone before?! Is it cause our connection is sooo strong and good? And it is cause we are in love? Cause I thought it was soo amazing and really really cool. I freaked my cousin out a little bit though. She thinks we're weird and I know she def. knows we are in love. <33

Anyway. I'm bored, but I have nothing else to really write about. So. HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Why is Life So Boring Sometimes?

Blah. I'm bored. And I have a headache. But, I'm feeling better today. Which is good. Cause I did not need to have a relapse of my cold. So, finally talked to the Ex again. He was pissy with me, telling me his feelings again and how I'm only with Erik cause I didn't want to be alone. Well, he can keep telling himself that. Cause it's not true. But, he did tell me some decent news.

Apparently, he has to call his boss again, I'm guessing after Thanksgiving, and see what he wants to do by then. Which I think is very very very nice of his boss. He's giving him a whole month off (probably not paid but whateves) to clear his head. And he'll still have his job. Anyway, thats enough about him.

Last night, me and baberz snuggled and watched Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift. (It's my favorite) I have a sad obsession with Lucas Black and his "dirty, car guy" appearance and southern accent. He's lucious. So, we did that, played some xbox, talked to Blake on there while getting my ass beat in Call of Duty 5, and snuggle some more. I love his bed. (Not for that reason!) But it's soo soft, it's memory foam..and just snugglin with him is awesome in general.

So, bascially I'm sitting here bored outta my mind. (YAY! NOT!)My head still frickin hurts. But I'll be otay. Tonight, I have to go to the Halloweenie store and get my firefighter costume, some fishnets and MAYBE some boots. I honestly dont know about the boots cause they're damn expensive. Wherever I go. So, then have to get some stuff for Erik's costume. (His is hottttt, of course ;]) I'm excited for the Halloween party tomorrow night. It's at Briee's and Dan's. (I used to go to high school with hurrr) So, plenty of alchi and a live band and people from high school that I haven't seen in foreverness. (Good Times!)

Saturday, Cheryl and I are having a "date" day. Erik has to work 11-9 (my poor baberz. =[) So, me and Cheryl are going to go out, probably do lunch and some shopping or something. (YAY!) And at some point go see Erik at work, so I can give White Trash Girl the nastiest look ever. (White Trash Girl works with Erik and of course has a crush on him..and looks white trash! hehe. I'm mean. Sorry.) Like bittch step off my man. =D

Anywho, thats about it for now. I'm tired. And I'm gonna go eat something from the huge tray of cookies and other assorted baked goods that Judy baked for Halloweenie. =)

Your Shallowness Creates An Emptiness..

So. Last night I was pretty sure I was going to have a heart attack, thanks to the Ex. He texted me yesterday before my lunch as usual. He told me he was taking a half day, something I have learned he clearly believes he needs. So, I was like, "ok let's do lunch." Of course he said yes.

So, I got in his car and he was visibly upset. I asked him what was wrong. He wouldn't tell me. I thought and thought and thought and somehow I have this innate ability to be able to pick up on people and see exactly what is wrong.

Out of all the things that could be wrong, I choose to ask, "you got fired, didn't you?" I am then met with a slight up and down nod of the head and a huge sob. I try and press him with details but of course he's hesitant to tell me. Fianlly, throught the sobs, I get a little something out of him.

I asked, "So, what happened," and in response I get, "I don't know, my boss just told me he was letting me go." "Oh, well did he say why?" In response, "No, I just walked out after that, what else needed to be said?" I sat there and pondered this. Of course the answer was simple..he STILL is NOT over ME! It's been a month now. And all that's happened is he has sprialed down into an even deeper depression.

I look at him, and then, I let him have it. (For his own good.) I said, "Listen, this gonna be really harsh and bitchy, but GET OVER IT!" "Look at what you're doing to your life, you're smoking again (cigs and weed), you're getting drunk (or trying to) and you have gotten you're first speeding ticket and now you've lost your job!"

I sit back, waiting for a response. All I get is another up and down nod and a sob. I think, and then start blaming myself. (Of course) I say, "I'm sorry for ruining your life." He looks at me and tells me, "You didn't ruin my life. I ruined my life."

So, that was about it. I gave him a hug, he cried, I left and IMed him when I thought he was home just to see that he was a little bit better.

Then, I went about my day, talking to my lover on AIM, then going home, eating dinner, then going to the lovers house. Where I finally met his sister. Which was alot of fun actually. She's so sweet. His mom and sis scared me a tad though when I first came in cause they got soo excited. (It makes me feel awkward and happy at the same time.)

So, we played some video games, I finally met Erik's sister's hubby (he's a cool guy too) and we were all just sitting there in the living room. I sat down in the cat's favorite chair. (Hey, she was sitting on her foot stool thing!) And all of a sudden, she jumped up, walked across me, and then went over to Erik. (Ok, you're probably wondering where I'm going with this..hold on!) Then, she turned around, and came back over and more or less put her butt in my face and allowed me to pet her. Meanwhile I hear Erik go, "Mom, pssst, Mom look at Lucy." At this point his mom, sister, and Matt are all staring at me. Apparently as I've stated in previous blogs, his cat being that friendly is a weird occurence in his home. The only other person she likes is Erik's sister's hubby, which I guess in "Lucy" (the cat's name) terms is that I'm a keeper.

Which is not new news to me. So, yes Saturday is our one month only. But I feel like I could spend forever with this boy. We just have this amazingly deep connection. We get soo excited to see each other. Like ridic. excited. Like, hi I haven't seen you in a week excited everyday! I don't know, it's a strange feeling. Very strange. I suppose, this is what true love feels like. Like deep down true love. It's scary and exhilarating all at the same time.

Anywho, after that, Erik and I then went all the way back to my house, to get Charlie. =) He had me watch some sickk dyno testing vids on youtube. That excites me. No lie. So, I decided I wanted to hear Charlie purrr. =) So, we got my car then went to Arby's. In town here, there is a main strip and its called Rt. 6. Well, there is this part where it goes from two lanes to one lane. And so I'm going pretty quick up the hill to merge and for some reason this mini-van on the left of me, decides she is uber pissed at me, and literally tries to run me off the road! Like, I'm getting pretty close to the curb and she just keeps trying to pass me out. I'm like really, what the hell, so I sped up and finally got by her.

We fianlly made it to Arby's, and just went in and chilled with everyone. There wasn't any room left at the table Lou, Jess and Jay were sitting at. So, I sat next to Bry and across from Amanda and Kyle. (Bascially no one likes Amanda cause she runs her mouth.) So, we're just all sitting there talking. Pretty much about alot of nothing. So eventually Bry Amanda and Kyle leave..Erik and I wait about 10 mins and then leave. And we're saying bye to everyone and of course Jess and Lou act all pissy towards us. Like a quick ok bye. I know why they're mad, a)cause we were talking to amanda and b)cause now we leave mad early. I don't know, it's just not that fun anymore. I feel shunned out cause I'm technically part of both Hat City and Absolut and I feel it bothers em. Plus, Erik and I like to leave early so we can get some snuggling time in. <33

So, we go home and do just that, watch a little Disney Channel and Family Guy. So, like I've been doing for the past couple of days, I call the Ex to see how he's doing. And he doesn't answer. So I try to call him again and he still doesn't answer, and so I start to freak out a little, wondering if he was driving somewhere and he got into an accident (it was raining and snowing) or he decided to take a lot more sleeping pills then required. So, eventually I fell asleep, woke up and tried to call to call him again, but he still didn't answer. So, I came here and he was on myspace and AIM, but wouldn't and still hasn't. But, luckily he was playing Xbox this morning so it's safe to assume he's ok. Which makes me feel better.

Now, I think he's trying to get me out of his head and life. Which is good. It's time he moved on and time I stopped caring so much for him.

You Can Have Whatever You Like.

Eventually, it was inevitable that I used that title. That damn song is on like every other time. Not that I don't like it..cause I love it but I hate how they always overplay stuff.

So this morning or ok like 5 minutes ago I was on Facebook and Erik was tagged in a photo with his sister..it was some wedding photos. So of course I looked. They were sooo cute. And there was this picture of her holding a smooshy sword, and she had made the comment that her and Matt said "that's fantastic" at the exact time. Which isn't soo weird except like every damn day, Erik and I somehow do or say or think the same exact thing at the same exact time.

I'm sure I've written bout this..but I'm too lazy to go back and look. Anyway, the point to all of that above paragraph is that Erik says our relationship is alottt like theres. Like how we act, the fact his rents loooveee me, and even the fact his cat loooves me. [haha]

Idk. But I love him soooo much more then he'll even know. <33

Don't Stop Believing

Ugh. I don't feel good at all. I think that the milk I drank this morning made me feel a little icky. Oh well.

Anyway. Here comes my weekend recap.

Friday
Friday Erik and I went to the Haunted Graveyard at Lake Compounce. Which was sooo much fun. =)) It wasn't that scary..at all. I jumped a little bit. But I mostly just had fun staring down people. At the end of the thing..there was a really tall guy in a crazy skeleton mask with like blue lights he could turn on and off around his face. Erik's obsessed over it. [It's cute..not the guy..his obsession] After that we went on the Boulder Dash..which I pretty much was ok with..I just was really quiet. Inside I was screaming though. [hah I'm a wuss].

After all that fun, we went to Jess and Lous. Lou was just leaving for work but before that we played some Crash Bandicoot Racing on Playstation [old school!]. Connor was there and this kid Matt that's Jess' best friend or something to that affect. [haha]. Lou eventually went to work and Connor to his girlfriends..so Erik Matt Jess and I all played some Halo 3 which was lots of fun. [I still don't miss that game however.] Erik kept beating me..which pissed me off a tad. [I declare myself better in video games!!!] After that, we left and went and chilled..and my cousins friend Dan called and left this hilarious vmail from my cousins phone!! So Erik and I went down to the Dirty Dirty and chilled with em for about 15 mins..then went back to his house and just talked in my bunnni.

Saturday
Saturday I went out with Cheryl for a little while cause Erik had to work from 800-130pm. We went to Dick's Sporting Goods, Kohls and CVS. She had present buying for her rents since they're birthdays are next month. Soo we did that...had our girlll time. =) Then I went out with Erik to the mall..which was ok..then we went back to his house ans watched tv and Scary Movie was on..soo we watched that..and it was just a funnn nite cuddling with him.


Sunday
Sunday I chilled out for most of the day. Around 500 I went out for a little while with Dan. [Erik was fixing his car. =)] We just kinda drove round..went a Halloween Store near West Farms mall. Wasn't anything exciting. Then I dropped him off and went back home and just watched the Disney Channel till Erik came..=). His car's all fixed now..and everything is squared away with his friend Eric.[Money issues] Which I'm really glad.


Everythings going really well. Except for me feeling like poo. And being bored here at work. =/

Time Flies.

It sureee does. One moment, it's 9am and you're dreading the entire work day..and then you turn around and it's already 9pm. I still cannot believe that Halloween is next Friday. Then Thanksgiving in a month. And then Christmas in another month! Then all of a sudden it will be 2009!? Where did time go. Is it almost honestly to the "teen" years of this milleium? Getting older scares me a bit.

Last night, Erik, Cheryl, my cousin, Corey and I all went out for sushi. Corey made the comment cause I was acting goofy, "Wow, aren't you the oldest one here?" "And isn't he [Erik] the youngest one here?" And yes, that was true. Then he said, "well you're acting the most immature and he's acting the most mature." And I realized, maybe I act that way cause I'm afraid to grow up? I mean ok Cheryl, Corey and I are all 22. But if you want to get technical, I'm 19 days older than Cheryl and 5 months older than Corey. Then comes my cousin who is 20, soon to be 21 in February and Erik who is 19. I don't know. Sometimes I act retarded and it's for various reasons.

I'm scared to grow old. I'm scared that I won't be funny. There's a million and one reasons why I act retarded.

I'm 22 and while that's NOT that old, you realize that some stuff makes you feel way older than is necessary! I've heard myself countless times say, "I'm too old for this." Mainly cause like 18 yr olds are doing it.

Sometimes I feel like my life isn't as exciting as it should be. I feel like, here I am, young and borrring. I mean don't get me wrong I do some exciting stuff. But it's kinda depressing and makes me feel way older than I am when I get excited about going out to Sushi with my cousin, two best friends, and boyfriend. I mean is that seriously the highlight of my life?

I feel like I just wanna do something soo spontaneous, so maybe this weekend I will. =))

Depending on money of course. =p